


Go Ahead Rip My Heart Out

by spacepixie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bathtubs, Boys Kissing, Breakfast, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drummer Ashton, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Family Drama, Fights, Fluff, Hangover, Hotels, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jokes, Late Night Conversations, Librarian Ashton, Love Bites, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Open Relationships, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Calum, Protective Michael, Road Trips, Roommates, Secrets, Showers, Smoking, Swearing, Texting, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:23:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 33,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacepixie/pseuds/spacepixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You waste your money on the dumbest shit.” He murmured under his breath hoping Calum didn’t hear him. But alas the other man did as he shoved Michael roughly in the chest before grabbing his coffee cup and exiting the shop leaving Michael dumbfounded. </p><p>Or </p><p>Angsty Malum & road trip(s)</p><p>Title From IYDK formerly titled Wrapped Around Your Finger (there are like a billion fics called Wrapped Around Your Finger so I decided to change it, sorry for any confusion)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Every Chance That I Seem to get Finds a Way to End in Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Too Late by 5sos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Too Late. Feedback is appreciated :)

_Michael’s P.O.V._

“I can’t believe you drink this sweet shit!” Michael spat out the hot and overly sweet liquid.

His boyfriend scowled at him. “If you’re not going to fucking swallow you can at least save some for me!”

“You waste your money on the dumbest shit.” He murmured under his breath hoping Calum didn’t hear him. But alas the other man did as he shoved Michael roughly in the chest before grabbing his coffee cup and exiting the shop leaving Michael dumbfounded. _What the fuck just happened?_  

4 hours later 

“Babe?” Michael called out as he entered his shared apartment but he was met with no response, he did hear the shower running. He contemplated knocking but on the last minute decided to barge in.

“OHMYGOD MICHAEL IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! AND I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE CALUM WILL TOO!” Luke screeched lunging for the towel and attempting to cover his wet body.

“I’m sorry I  thought you were Calum!” Michael apologised his eyes darting around the bathroom avoiding all eye contact with his best friend.

“Can you like leave?” Luke asked shifting from foot to foot, his cheeks flushed a deep red.

“Oh shit yeah sorry.” Michael mumbled as he left the bathroom.

He headed to his room and plugged his earphones in drowning out the rest of the world. He had really fucked up today by insulting Calum’s coffee.Sure it had been a lame attempt at a joke but they had been on such thin ice lately that any little comment was bound to set Calum off. He heard a knock on the door, expecting it to be Calum he sat up a little straighter, but when Luke entered the room and turned on the light, he slumped further into the bed. Luke motioned for him to take his earphones out, but when Michael didn’t take them out, he decided to slowly approach the boy. He gently eased back the covers and scooted closer to Michael, then he pulled out his earphones.

“What’s wrong Mike?” He wrapped his arms around the other man pulling him closer to his chest.

“Nothing.”

“Mike.”

“Everything.”

“You need to be a little more specific.”

 “Calum.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Michael shook his head, Luke slid out of the bed and held out his arm. “Come help me make dinner?” It was more of a statement than a question. Michael nodded and peeled back the covers then as an afterthought slid even further down the bed.

“I hear Donnatello’s does delivery. “ Luke offered as he went around the messy room nearly tripping on a pile of clothes, he finally reached his destination. From on top of the desk he clutched Michael’s laptop close to his chest and made his way back to the bed. Settling in, he ordered the food and then opened a movie file. Putting some space between Michael and him so that they could both be comfortable.

15 minutes into the movie Michael softly murmured “I’m sorry I walked in on you.”

“It’s okay,it was an accident."

"Seriously though do you want to talk about it?" Luke asked again after 10 minutes.

"Luke I appreciate it but it's kinda awkward don't you think?"

"Why? Because I'm your ex and you have a boyfriend? Look Mike if something is bothering you can talk to me about it. I'm your best friend before anything else. Besides I have my eye on someone."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Can we just lie here for a little bit, I miss your cuddles."

"Is that so?" Luke teased snuggling closer to his best friend.

They could hear a key turn in the lock,both knowing it was Calum,Luke made a movement away from Michael instinctively. A few minutes later they heard a knock on the door,Calum poked his head in and told them to come into the kitchen.On their second hand dining table their food from Donatello’s was spread out,with 2 plates,cutlery and 2 bottles of beer.

“I met the deliveryman on my way up so I offered to bring it up myself.I’ve already paid for it so you don’t need to worry about that.” He mumbled not making any eye contact with both of them.But it was clear that he’d been crying, his eyes were red and puffy. His cheeks flushed and his lip holding tiny little indentations caused by him biting it too much as an attempt  to control his tears.

 

Luke and Michael sat down expecting the other to join them but he turned his back to them softly mumbling that he was tired.

“Tired from what? Where were you?” It was Michael, his voice holding a hint of anger. Calum had ditched him in the middle of the coffee shop and had refused to answer his many calls and texts. It was Calum who had severed any contact between them for nearly 5 hours.

Calum turned to face them both now “I was with the cute guy from the library, Ashton.”

“For 4 hours!?” It was Luke this time, with the mention of his crush’s name he had immediately stared daggers at his roommate.

“Yeah 4 hours, I’m going to bed.” With that he turned on his heel and walked to his bedroom, the one he hadn’t slept in for months since he usually slept alongside Michael in his room. 

“He didn’t mean anything by it.” Michael assured him.

“Im not so sure anymore, he has been acting distant lately.” Luke mumbled between shoves of food down his throat. Michael was closely watching his best friend and he considered it. Maybe Calum was being distant, but the suggestion that he had been with Ashton for 4 hours didn’t settle him. 

“He wouldn’t do that to us.” It was a lame attempt at defending his boyfriend but Luke looked unconvinced.He continued eating but left his beer untouched.Michael sighed in defeat as he pushed his chair away from the table.This caught Luke’s attention but he still remained silent. 

“I’ve lost my appetite.” He stated walking towards his room, he needed to be alone.

Luke cleared the table and packed away the food, deep down he knew Calum wouldn’t do that to him,but his doubts began surfacing.

It was at 2 in the morning when Michael decided he’d sneak out and have something to eat. The last thing he remembered eating was a slice of toast at breakfast the previous day.He opened the fridge and took out the leftovers from Donatello’s, deciding that the microwave would wake up Luke (who was the last person you’d want to wake up early in the morning) and Calum (it would probably make him more pissed at Michael).  He sat in the darkness on the couch spooning the pasta into his mouth, resisting the urge to moan at how good the food tasted despite being cold. He heard footsteps approaching, Calum’s to be exact,he was about to offer Calum some of the pasta when he realised that Calum was on the phone with someone.

“Hey Ashton, They know. Can you meet me at the coffee shop on Flinders?”

  
Michael slumped into the couch, he knew he wasn’t meant to hear that conversation. But at least now he knew where he stood. Calum was cheating on him with Ashton, that much was apparent. He knew he had upset Calum but for Calum to spend 4 hours with Ashton and then call him at 2 o’clock in the morning-he just couldn’t believe that Calum had already replaced him and with Luke’s crush too. He didn’t want to hurt Luke by telling him what was going on between Ashton and Calum but he rather tell him than have him walk in on them.


	2. I'm There For You Be There For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been 3 days since Luke,Calum and Michael have talked to each other. Slight angst and fluff included. (sorry im bad at writing summaries) title from Hunger Of The Pine- Alt-J

3 Days Later

Michael had yet to confront Calum about his early morning meeting with Ashton, not wanting to address the fact that his boyfriend of 2 years had been cheating on him. Luke had ignored them both for the past three days, he left early in the morning and when he came home he locked himself in his room. Michael didn’t want to tell him about them,but the three days were taking a toll on him.

Driving back from university Michael realised that it was his day to cook, he made a quick right turn into the grocery store carpark. Walking in he grabbed a trolley and wandered the many aisles planning a meal for the night. He was stumped, deciding that he was too tired to cook a proper meal he grabbed some salad and a whole chicken. If they had any left over after dinner he’d make Luke and Calum chicken sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.

After he finished setting the table and cooking the food he texted the both of them that dinner was ready and asked where they were.Luke replied that he wasn’t feeling hungry (which he knew was a lie since Luke was always ready for third servings) and Calum replied that he was at the library finishing up an assignment and that he wouldn’t be back until late in the night. Sighing in defeat he quickly ate his dinner and began shredding the chicken for the next day’s lunch. If they didn’t eat his sandwiches at least he’d have dinner for the next night.

Deciding that he rather watch a movie than try to cajole his roommate and boyfriend to hang out, Michael sunk into his bed. The smell of Calum still lingering on his sheets. He knew that Calum was still mad at him from the other day but he never was around long enough for Michael to give him a proper apology. And if  he didn’t apologise,Calum wouldn’t come and sleep with him. He heard a knock on the door,judging from the footsteps he heard,he knew it was Luke.

“Come in!” He called out.

Luke ambled towards the bed, his hair mussed, his cheeks and eyes red and swollen, he had been crying.

“What’s wrong?” Michael queried.

But Luke didn’t answer, instead he padded over to the unoccupied side of the bed and wrapped his arms around his body protectively. Michael could sense Luke’s sadness; it was like a thick fog in the room,heavy and suffocating. He could see its toll on Luke, the telltale signs being the dark circles around his eyes, his cerulean blue orbs once bright were now ringed with red, his cheeks a raw red from where he had hurriedly wiped away his tears only to have the remnants of his sadness so clearly displayed on his face. Michael couldn’t help but feel protective over his younger roommate,Calum could hate him for all he cares but Michael loathed him for having this effect on Luke, for making him look like a shadow of his former self. He wrapped his arms around him pulling him closer to his chest. He could feel him shivering next to him, he wrapped the duvet around his shoulders and attempted to warm him up.

 “He’s such a jerk!” Luke finally began his voice rang loud through the room.

“First he gets mad at you for no reason and then ditches you for the guy I have a crush on! The guy i’ve been flirting with since forever. Then he avoids both of us for  three days!” He continued.

Michael didn’t want to point out that Luke had been avoiding him to up until this point. He knew Luke was upset about something else, Calum had just chosen the wrong time to mention Ashton and it had all contributed to Luke’s recent mood.

“I’m so exhausted.” He sighed, when Michael had still not replied to his earlier outburst. He made a move to leave the bed but was unsteady on his feet. Michael was at his side within a few seconds, supporting his weight as he guided him out of the room.

“Have you eaten?”

There was silence from Luke, Michael had gotten his answer.

“You need to eat.”

“Yeah.”

“When was the last time you ate? And what did you eat?”

Luke took a few minutes trying to rack his brain for what meal he had eaten last.

Michael sighed in defeat “Lu it shouldn’t take you that long to remember what you’ve eaten unless you haven’t eaten at all today.”

There was more silence from Luke signalling that yes he hadn’t eaten today.

“Come on I’ll make you some soup.” He offered slinging Luke’s arm around his shoulders.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Please,you need to eat something.”

 

When Michael had finished making the soup Luke had his head rested against the cool surface of the table. His eyes firmly shut as if trying to repress something. His skin was pale apart from the dark circles under his eyes and red splotches from when he tried to wipe away his tears but had ended up grazing his skin from the scratchy material of his jumper.

“Come on Lu, just have a little bit.” Michael coaxed pushing the bowl of soup towards his friend. Luke attempted a small smile, he spooned a few mouthfuls in before he attempted to get up from the chair. His body was still swaying unsteadily, Michael was at his side in an instant.

“Toilet.” He mumbled putting all his weight on his roommate.

When they got to the toilet,Luke lunged for the toilet bowl emptying the contents of his stomach. Michael stood behind him rubbing circles into his back. Tears were streaming down his face as he retched into the bowl. He offered Luke a wet towel to wipe his face with.

“Come on let’s get you to bed.”

After he tucked Luke in, he left plain crackers, a bottle of water and a note saying that if he felt up to it there were chicken sandwiches in the fridge and that if he needed anything not to hesitate to come and wake Michael.

It was at 12 in the night that Michael heard the sobs, his initial response was that Luke needed him. But the footsteps said otherwise. He stealthily approached the door, trying to ensure that the person sitting outside his door wasn’t disturbed. He opened the door slowly and silently, Calum was sitting on the floor,his knees used for supporting his face, his shoulders wracking with soft sobs. At hearing the doorknob turn he looked up to meet Michael’s emerald eyes, his own chocolate ones were brimming with fresh tears.

Seeing Calum sobbing at his doorstep, all anger he felt towards the boy vanished instantaneously. There was an unspoken question in the air: _Did Calum need Michael._

He offered him his hand, which the other accepted. Together they entered Michael’s room, and got between the covers. Calum initially curled in on himself, his body still shaking with soft sobs. But Michael was having none of it, he scooped the boy into arms, his back pressed into Michael’s chest. He inhaled his scent realising that he had missed being so near to Calum, to feel him beside him as he slept. The past three nights Michael had stayed up till late wondering if Calum would come back to his bed,back to Michael.He knew that despite their recent fighting there was something he was absolutely certain about: He Loved Calum. Thinking that the other boy had fallen asleep, Michael whispered “I Love You.” This was the first time that one of them had admitted it out loud. “I Love You too.” He replied back snuggling closer into Michael.


	3. All the Crossed Wires,Just Making us Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke is sick,Michael is a total sweetheart.Title from The Only Reason

Michael woke up to an empty bed, the cold sheets pressed into his side from where his t-shirt had rode up in the middle of the night.He blinked a few times trying to get his eyes adjusted to the sunlight streaming in from his window. Missing Calum’s warm body next to him, he decided that he needed to talk to him, especially after their shared revelation last night.Especially since Calum had yet to confide in him about why he was crying.

Hearing the sounding of retching not far off, Michael rose to his feet and hurried to the bathroom. He pushed the door open and was met with the sight of Luke crouched over the toilet bowl emptying the contents of his stomach out yet again. The blonde haired man was pale, his forehead and palms sweaty as he clutched tightly to the porcelain.Michael approached him slowly taking care not to make any sudden movements.

 

“Have you eaten breakfast?” He asked slowly rubbing circles into his back whilst he slumped against the porcelain. He shook his head.

“What about the crackers last night did you eat those?” Another shake of his head.

“You know if you don’t eat you’re just going to keep chucking up and feeling like shit.”

This time he managed to make eye contact with Michael,his sea blue eyes were dim under the harsh light of the bathroom.

“He knows.”

Michael jumped two feet into the air realising that they were not alone in the bathroom,Calum was perched on a chair watching both of them.

“What the fuck, give a guy some warning.” Michael stammered recovering from the surprise. 

“He’s been drinking all night, he’s not sick he’s hungover.” Calum hissed coming to stand next to Luke.

“Luke?”

He looked up from his crouched position on the floor, but avoided eye contact with the two of them.

“Luke,look at me, are you okay?”

He shook his head and then nausea hit him once more and he lay with his face pressed against the toilet seat.

“Ugh Luke get your face off that it isn’t clean.”

“I honestly don’t think i’ve ever felt so comfortable in my life.” He admitted.

“Ugh Lucas get your ass up, We’re taking you out for breakfast.” Calum grimaced,his nose scrunching in distaste at the odour of the bathroom.

 Luke attempted to stand up but was wobbly on his feet,Michael latched onto his arm to steady him.

 “He can’t come out like that he needs to shower.” Calum insisted.

“No shit Sherlock.” Michael mumbled as Calum pouted at him in annoyance. _fucking Calum and his damn full lips._

“Yeah but he can barely stand.” He retorted motioning towards Luke leaning on Michael.

“I’ll give him a shower.” 

Calum managed to look scandalised. 

“Chill out dude, he’s seen me naked before.”

This didn’t seem to soothe Calum as he stared daggers at his boyfriend and best friend. “HE DID WHAT!?” 

“Yes I admit i've seen Luke naked before, but that was a really long time ago well apart from the other day when I walked in when he was showering.But honestly I was actually looking for you.” Michael muttered fixing Calum with a matching look of anger.

His anger subsided when Calum came up to him and kissed him.

"I'm sorry I forgot.” He murmured smiling at his boyfriend and then started kissing him again.

 “MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD THAT’S MY FUCKING ARM, STOP SQUEEZING IT! AND CALUM THOMAS HOOD I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CHUCK UP ON YOU IF YOU CONTINUE KISSING NEXT TO ME LIKE THAT!” Luke grumbled trying to get out of Michael’s grip. 

“Looks like Lucifer is awake.” chuckled Calum placing a final kiss on his boyfriend’s lips before he left the shower, with Luke screeching not to call him that. 

“Come on take your clothes off.”

“I usually prefer a meal before getting naked Mike.”

“Well I’m usually a lot more interested in seeing  hot naked guys but since you're the only one here you’ll just have to do.”

“Hahah.” he mocked “Do you think Calum is actually okay with this? I mean I am your ex and I am hot."

Michael continued stripping and then moved on to help Luke. After this he helped him into the shower and they stood together in mutual silence.

“I know you spent the night together.” Luke tried again.

“He was crying last night...I told him I loved him.”

 “Was it your first time? Saying it out loud?”

“Yeah.”

 “Please tell me the two of you aren’t fucking in the shower!” they heard Calum call out.

 “You know that our shower is too small to fuck in right? We established that last month.” Michael retorted.

“That was something I didn’t need to know.” Luke muttered reaching for the soap.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah I do, Thanks Mikey.” He washed the soap off his body and exited the shower,without needing Michael's help.

Michael stayed in the shower, letting the warm water wash over his body as Luke wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked out the bathroom only to come back a minute later to ask “Are you okay Mikey?”

Michael shook his head “I’m not sure.”

“Okay.” and with that he left, closing the door behind him.

 

Michael sunk into a heap on the floor. He was confused, a few days ago he could’ve sworn Calum was cheating on him with Ashton. Last night he had been crying outside his bedroom door, he had admitted to loving Michael. He stayed in Michael’s bed all night only to disappear to take care of Luke. He had gotten worried that Michael had seen Luke naked. He kissed him. Yet Calum had not spoken to him about what was troubling him, he had just disappeared with Ashton for nearly 5 hours,he had called him at 2 in the morning just so they could meet up. He had avoided all contact with Luke and him for the past 3 days.His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on the door.

A few minutes later Calum strolled in and shut the door behind him. His hair was still messy from sleeping, though his eyes were back to their usual shine, his cheeks held their deep set dimples as he smiled at his boyfriend.He looked happy and content.He made his way into the shower fully clothed to join Michael.

“Babe.” he began.

“Cal.” he mumbled.

“Pumpkin.”

“Yes Cal?”

“Honey bunch.”

Michael stayed silent.

“Mikey babe,what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you’re upset?”

“Yeah, why are you standing here, you’re getting wet.”

“Please just talk to me. I don’t care if i’m getting wet, please”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Oh okay, do you want me to leave?”

“I don’t know.”

“Mike.”

He remained silent,the water continued pouring down on them, Calum just stood there watching him.

“Can I at least try to cheer you up?”

“I don’t know how you’d do that.”

“I have a few ideas but you need to stand up.” He smirked at Michael.

He stood up and turned off the shower and then he turned towards his boyfriend.

 “Seriously!? You can't just give me 'come fuck me eyes' Calum!”

“Babe.” he moved closer.

“You can’t just walk in here and expect to make everything better.”

“Look I’m really sorry abo-”

“No you really hurt me! you can’t just walk out on me without talking to me. I understand that I shouldn’t have said what I did and I’m really sorry about it but you can’t disappear for 5 hours and then ignore my texts and calls for 3 days and then walk in,shed a few tears and demand cuddles and sex.It doesn't work like that!”

“Mike.” he moved closer to him.

“I want a proper apology!”

“Mike? Cal? Are we going to breakfast soon?” Luke called out from the living room.

“We’ll talk about this later okay?” Michael insisted as he filed past his boyfriend.He grabbed a towel and sulked out of the bathroom, leaving Calum standing in the shower dumbstruck.


	4. A Castle of Facade of Make Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum,Luke and Michael go out for breakfast. Title from The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Breakfast

Michael and Calum held an uneasy silence between them as they walked to the Sugarbowl cafe with Luke. The blonde haired man had been chattering endlessly about a new tv show he had begun watching on tv the other night, leaving them to nod politely at each turn. When they finally got to the cafe they immediately shuffled towards their booth at the back of the place. It was hidden behind a large wall that separated it from the other tables. It allowed them some privacy if they needed and it was close enough to the kitchen so that they could order more food if needed.

 

“So what’d you guys think?” the blonde glanced at his two best friends waiting for an answer.

 

“Hmm.” They replied in unison.

 

“Do you just want the buffet or should we order off the menu?” He repeated his earlier question.

 

Still no one answered. He snapped his fingers in front of Michael’s face.

 

“What. Do.You.Want.For.Breakfast?” He emphasised every word.

 

“Buffet.” He finally answered shoving the blonde haired man’s hands away from his face. He shot his boyfriend a questioning look,but Calum stared back at him blankly.

 

“Are you sure he’s not the hungover one?” Luke asked as he stood next to Michael in the line for the breakfast buffet.

 

“I don’t know.” Shrugged Michael, grabbing a glass of juice from the table and delicately sipping at it only to swallow it down and make a disgusted face. It was too sweet.

 

“Give it to Calum.” Luke muttered seeing the look on his best friend’s face.

 

“I think I might.” He added leaving the line,then turning back to his friend he asked “Can you bring me some waffles and bacon? I’m feeling a little unsteady.”

 

Luke nodded as he grabbed a pair of tongs and started serving their food.

 

Michael approached their table “We need to talk.”

 

The black haired man looked up in surprise. “Yeah.” he agreed motioning for Michael to take a seat.

 

“Look about this morning, I’m really sorry that I pushed it off as not being a huge deal. It mattered to you and it hurt you and I upset you. I’m sorry about not explaining things in better detail and always leaving you in the dark. I don’t mean to-.”

 

Calum couldn’t finish his sentence as Luke approached their table bearing food. Michael immediately rose from his seat and stated that he wanted some fruit and that Calum should come and help him pick some. Luke stared in confusion at his two friends but decided to let it go,he was too hungover to worry about how his best friends, who both hated fruit were so eager to get some for breakfast this morning.

 

At the Fruit Bar 

“You were saying?” Michael began, he stuck his hand into a nearby fruit bowl and began examining the fruits. Calum stood stiff behind him not making any move to put fruit on his plate.

 

“I don’t mean to make things so hard for you, I’ve just been going through some things and I didn’t want to worry you or Luke.”

 

“Is that why you were with Ashton the other day? Were you afraid to admit that you were cheating on Michael! That you were fucking the guy I liked!” Luke spat, he had snuck up behind them deciding that he wanted a banana to go with his waffles. Instead he had walked in on their private conversation,he no longer felt sick,he just felt anger towards Calum.

 

“He’s not sleeping with me.” A new voice said, the three boys turned around to see Ashton piling food on to his plate.

 

“Ashton.” Luke mumbled his tone softening, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink from just being in his presence.

 

“I see that you two don’t need an introduction.” Calum conceded looking between his roommate and Ashton.

 

“I’d like one.” Michael muttered glaring at his boyfriend and Ashton.

 

“Hi I’m Ashton!” The other boy beamed at him but he didn’t return the smile. Instead he grabbed an apple and sulked towards their table.

 

“You should really tell them.” Ashton mumbled to Calum as they followed Michael to their table.

 

“Do you really think that it’s a good idea?”

 

“Tell us what?” 

 

"Let's get back to the table Calum will explain, won't you Cal?"

 

Calum only grunted in response as he trudged back to their table a scowl on his face.

 

They were all sat at the table now, Calum and Michael avoiding eye contact with each other. Instead both of them resorted to staring at the food on their plates making no attempt to eat. Ashton sat across from Luke and was asking him for a sip of his juice stating that he'd forgotten to get some. Luke happily obliged by sliding his glass across the table.

 

“Maybe you should eat your breakfast first, because when you find out about what Calum has to say you won’t feel like eating.” Ashton suggested looking between Calum and Michael.

 

Michael and Luke turned their attention to Calum who had paled when the unspoken topic had been brought up. It was something important, they could tell but the subject matter was still a mystery to them.

  
“Ash is right, you guys should eat first. It’s a lot to handle and I don’t think it’s wise to discuss it here.” Calum replied pouring honey on his waffles. He was glad that he could buy himself a little bit more time, he was anxious about telling his friends the truth. He didn't know how he could tell them but he knew he had to: their lives were at stake and they needed to know.


	5. I Woke Up In The Place We Started.Your Clothes On The Floor In That Old Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Broken Pieces

After Breakfast

“We’ve had breakfast Cal, what did you want to tell us?” Luke asked.

 

“Ashton said he wanted to give you a personal tour of the library,didn’t you Ash?”

 

Luke turned to Ashton and gave him a hopeful look,Ashton smiled back at him.

 

“I have to pick some things up from my dorm room,is it cool if we stop there first?”

 

“Sure thing! I’ll come with you.” Luke enthusiastically replied pushing his chair in and running after Ashton.

 

“I know what you’re up to Hood.”

 

“Really? I’m not even important enough to call by my first name.” He stalled.

 

“We seriously need to discuss our relationship.”

 

“Mike.”

 

“It’s important that we discuss it.”

 

“Look I rather discuss it with you and Luke at the same time.”

 

“You want to discuss our relationship with Luke?”

 

“No there’s something I need to tell you both, it involves our relationship too.”

 

“Calum I know you’re trying to stall but really? Getting rid of Ashton and Luke is counterproductive when you need to tell us something.”

 

“Can we just discuss this at home? I don’t want to do it here.Please?”

 

“Fine but text Ash and Luke to meet us at the apartment.I’m just going to pay the bill.”

 

"Okay I'll see you outside."

 

“Trouble in paradise?” The kindly, old cashier asked him as he approached the counter.

 

“Sorry?”

 

“I heard raised voices at your table Mike, I hope you and Calum work things out. You two really do make a sweet couple,when you’re not fighting that is.”

 

“I hope so too Dorota. I’m sure we will, we just need to discuss some things.”

 

“Give my regards to Ashton and Luke, they’ll make a wonderful couple even if they don’t see it for themselves just yet.”

 

“You know Ashton?” He inquired.

 

“Since he was a little boy, he grew up a few suburbs down, always claimed we had the best waffles in town. So he’d ride up here every morning to pick up some snacks for school. I got him the job at the library actually, my niece being the head librarian and all. He doesn’t come as often now but when he does he’s always gushing about Luke.”

 

“So he’s a good guy?”

 

“One of the best,he just needs to tell Luke how he feels and likewise. They'll it work out soon that's a guarantee.”

 

“I’ll make sure he does, thanks for everything again Dorota!”

 

"You're welcome anytime Michael! take care and stay safe!"

 

“What took you so long?” Calum grumbled as he stood shivering at the entrance.

 

“I was talking to Dorota,she’s worried about us.”

 

“Worried about us? Why what did she say? Did she anything?”

 

“Shh Cal it’s okay, she just said heard us fighting.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Come on  babe we have to get home to meet Luke and Ash.” he replied slowly entangling his fingers with Calum’s and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

Calum squeezed back and nuzzled into his boyfriend's neck. _I miss this...it feels like it's been ages since we've been this close._

 

Later 

Calum and Michael lay cuddled on the couch watching a movie on tv when Calum’s phone beeped signalling a text message.

 

“Who is it from?” Michael asked lazily stroking Calum’s dark hair.

 

“Mhmm” Calum mewled. “S’ Ash, he says they got distracted.”

 

“They make a good couple.”

 

“We’ll see Luke hasn’t been the same since that girl Ariel or was it Amanda?”

 

Michael didn’t bother correcting him instead he pulled Calum closer to him.

 

They continued watching tv for a little bit,with the interruption of Calum complaining that he was too cold and went to fetch the duvet from his bedroom.He sat upright and draped it over them, then moved closer to his boyfriend to retain their shared body heat. Within a few minutes Calum claimed that it was too hot and stripped off his shirt and pants so he was left in his boxers.Michael sighed at the view of Calum standing in front of him in just boxers. His tanned chest was bare,allowing Michael to stare at his pectoral muscles, his little tummy that stood out, his broad shoulders, his tattooed collarbones. _ugh i'm so fucking screwed_.

"Stop looking at me like that!" he blushed under Michael's gaze.

 

"I can't, you're so beautiful. You literally take my breath away." He beamed.

 

"C'mere." He held out his arms and Calum softly padded into his arms.

 

Michael grabbed the sheet and draped it back over them,whilst Calum snuggled into his chest. They slept together like that, their limbs intertwined with Calum's head rested in the crook of Michael's shoulder and Michael inhaling Calum's scent. _This is what heaven feels like._

They heard  loud frantic knocking on the door,slowly opening their eyes they realised they'd been asleep for most part of the day.

Calum attempted to get up but Michael pulled him down. "You're not wearing any pants babe." he chuckled.

Calum slid off the couch to put his pants back on.

 

“S’ okay babe I got it,Luke probably forgot his keys and needs to pee or something.” Michael reasoned getting up from the warmth of the couch.

He opened the door to see a frantic Ashton with Luke lying limp on the floor.Behind him 2 duffle bags. Michael let out a loud gasp,Calum on hearing it rushed to his side. Seeing Luke unconscious on the floor he lunged forward to carry his roommate,whilst Michael stood in shock at the sight before him.

 

“What the hell happened to him? Ashton what is going on?” Michael managed as Ashton pushed him into the apartment and locked the door behind them. Calum had laid Luke on the couch and covered him in the duvet.

 

“We need to leave. They might already be on their way over now.” He whispered pacing across the living room.

 

“Who? To go where? Can someone explain to me what is going on?” Michael pleaded looking between Calum and Ashton.

 

“Out of the city?” Calum suggested looking towards Ashton.

 

"I guess,that's our only choice."

 

"What is going on Calum!?"

 

“I'm sorry Mike, but you need to trust us, we’ll explain it in the car.But right now you need to pack.Please it’s important.”

 

"Okay."

 

Michael had no choice to but to listen to them,they were the only ones who knew what was going on. He hurried to his room and packed some clothes and then to Luke’s room to pack a bag for him.Wherever they were going Michael had a feeling they weren’t coming back,at least not in the near future.

 

He had overheard snippets Calum’s conversation with Ashton as they stood looking over Luke. “Do you think we should split up? I’ll take care of Mike and you take Luke.”

 

“No!” He exclaimed interrupting their whispered conversation. "We stay together."

 

“He’s right, I don’t what i’d do if something happened to you or Luke and I wasn't there to help you guys.”

 

“We travel together then.” Michael decided.

 

“How? We can’t all live out of one tiny car.”

 

“Dorota has a van, it’s pretty spacious.It will throw them off our scent for a little bit longer.” Ashton agreed.

 

“We should get going before anything happens.” Calum suggested carrying Ashton’s bags as he carried their roommate out of the apartment.

 

“I’ll be there soon just give me a moment.” Michael mumbled taking a moment to peruse the apartment for the last time.

 

He had spent 2 years living in the apartment,granted that wasn’t a long time but it had been like their second home.They had shared a lot of memories in that house: Luke and Michael deciding to be just friends, Michael and Calum finally admitting their feelings for each other, the one time Luke forgot to buy shaving cream and ended up using whipped cream instead,the first time Calum _tried_ roasting a chicken, tried being the keyword.In the end they had to buy a new oven and Calum was stuck with cleaning up duty ever since. The apartment was an important part of their life,leaving it behind didn’t seem right,especially without a proper goodbye.

 

“Mike! Are you coming? We need to leave soon.” Calum asked coming to stand next to his boyfriend.

 

“Promise me one thing.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“If we get through whatever this is, we come back here.”

 

“I promise.”


	6. Find Another Place To Start Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum finally explains what is going on. I'm sorry this took SO long,I've been busy with uni assignments etc. Also just a note there's vomiting in here so I'll mark the area off If you're uncomfortable with reading stuff like that (~/~). Title from Fly Away

“Cal! I think Luke’s waking up.” Michael shouted into the phone as his gaze flickered from his best friend to the road.He heard Calum relaying the message to Ashton.

 

“Ash says to pull over in the emergency lane.” He replied within a few seconds. Switching off his phone,he placed his full focus on the road as he veered towards the emergency lane.

 

“Mikey.” Luke murmured his eyes flickering as he tried to keep them open.

 

As soon as they stopped, Ashton,Calum and Michael rushed towards the back of the car to check up on Luke.

 

“Hey champ, How’re you feeling?” Ashton asked smoothing Luke’s hair down.

 

“A little light headed.” The blonde replied,then after a moment slumped back into the seat.

 

“Here drink this!” Calum insisted thrusting a clear bottle towards an exhausted looking Luke.

 

He reached out and swallowed back the liquid, then grimaced as it went down his throat.

 

“Ugh what the fuck is that?” He spat.

 

“It’s flat,sugar-free lemonade.” Calum offered looking apologetically at his friend.

 

“Move!” Luke groaned, as soon as he said it the three men veered to the side.

(~/~)

Luke collapsed on to his knees at the side of the road and began throwing up. Ashton followed close behind and gently rubbed circles into his back.

 

“STOP!” Luke managed between heaves. Ashton took a step away from the sick boy.

 

Luke turned towards Ashton and mumbled “Can you please hold my head?”

 

“Of course Lukey.” Ashton stood beside Luke and held his head as the other blonde dry heaved.

 

It was a strange sight for the passing traffic, a tall blonde haired boy throwing up whilst a shorter dirty blonde haired boy held his head,behind them stood two boys- one brown haired,one blue haired.

 

Luke attempted to pry off Ashton’s hands from his head but was too weak to do so, slowly Ashton removed his hands from the other boy’s head.

 

“Better?”

 

“Yes much better, thanks Ashy.”

 

“I think I have a chewy.” He offered, his hands already in his pocket searching. At last he pulled one out, unwrapped it and placed it in the other’s mouth.

 

“I have hand sanitiser!” Michael chirped running towards the car and bringing back a small bottle of hand sanitiser and handing it to Ashton to pour into Luke’s hand.

 

(~/~)

 

“We need to go, it’s getting dark.” Calum warned coming to join the other three.

 

“Calum you can ride with Mike, I’ll take Luke,We’ll meet you at Dora’s.” Ashton proposed.

 

They both nodded and waved to the others as they headed towards Michael’s car.

 

They were still on the highway when Michael finally built up the courage to ask Calum “Can you tell me what the fuck is going on,please?”

 

Calum visibly stiffened in the passenger seat, but took a few deep breaths before nodding.

 

“There are some things I haven’t told you yet.” He began.

 

“I’m adopted...well not exactly.. I’m not sure how to explain it but I’ll try to. My parents, the ones you know anyway aren’t my actual parents.They kidnapped me from my birth parents,they were originally my neighbours.I know it sounds bad but they only did it to protect me,my real parents made several attempts to kill me,fortunately for me my neighbours were always nearby and my parents weren’t able to carry out whatever sick plan they had. One night they told me that they were moving away and that they were going to take me with them. I was really young and I know it could’ve been dangerous, but anything was better than having to fear for my life everyday. When we  moved to DeerGrove,we changed our names and I was able to have a proper childhood with two loving parents who doted on me. Then I met Luke and you, we became friends and my past didn’t seem to matter. I had created a new identity and I was finally happy. When you and Luke suggested moving to Elkhurst for university I was thrilled to be moving on with my future. Everything has been so good for these past few years.Unfortunately I got a letter a few days ago from my adoptive parents, telling me that they were moving away because they believed my parents had found out where they were living.After all this time they hadn’t forgotten about me,they were still looking for me to finish what they had started. I was at the library at the time and was very upset and Ash saw me. He took me to Dorota’s because he wasn’t able to take me to his dorm on campus. She made me tell her everything and made Ashton and I promise not to tell anyone else about this.” He looked over at Michael whose gaze was still focused on the road.

 

He turned towards Calum finally a sad expression on his face. “Not even me?”

 

“I’m really sorry Michael I wanted to tell you. I really did but there was never a right time to do it. When we were younger you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you my parents tried to kill me.Especially when you thought my adoptive parents were my real parents. Then when we got together I thought it wouldn’t have mattered anymore because my parents probably forgot all about me. I had the new start I always wanted.”

 

“Calum I’m so sorry I’ve been a huge jerk to you these past few days. I’m sorry for everything.” Tears began brimming in his eyes.

 

“No Mike,I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry.”

 

Michael continued steering with one hand as the other held Calum’s.

 

“I love you.” Calum mumbled running his fingers over Michael’s pale hand.

 

“I love you too.” Michael smiled. They held hands for the rest of the trip, feeling closer than they ever did before.

 


	7. Love lost and Buried Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Airplanes

They soon arrived at Dorota’s house waiting outside patiently until they could hear someone’s footsteps tapping across the tiled floor. Dorota opened the door and smiled at them, then ushered them into the brightly lit house.The first thing Michael noticed about the house was that every table and wall was either adorned with souvenirs, framed photographs and books,despite never being here before he immediately felt at ease.

 

“So is it time?” She asked directing the question at Calum. He nodded in response as he collapsed into an armchair. 

 

“Where are the others?” was her next question.

 

“Luke got a little sick on the way over, Ashton’s with him making sure he’s okay.” Michael offered. She nodded knowingly, then went closer to Calum and whispered in his ear.

 

Calum responded by furiously shaking his head “No! he’s coming with me, I can’t leave him.”

 

Dorota smiled weakly “I can show both of you the car if you want.”

 

Michael and Calum nodded,Michael still confused as to what was going on. As they reached the door that led to the back garden they heard loud frantic knocks on the door. Michael peered through the peephole to see Luke resting his entire body weight on Ashton, immediately he drew back the lock and opened the door. Ashton fell under the weight of Luke’s body but Michael immediately rushed to his aid and picked up Luke bridal style.

 

 “Mikey?” Luke’s  sleepy blue eyes fluttered staring into Michael’s concerned green ones.

 

“There’s a spare bedroom two doors down, take him there and let him rest.” Michael obliged whilst the other three followed him.

 

“What was the last thing you ate Luke?” Dorota inquired pressing a cool cloth towards Luke’s forehead.

 

 He shook his head and mumbled something incoherent. Ashton shrugged his shoulders when Dorota turned to get an answer from him.

“When we had breakfast this morning,he didn’t eat much.” Michael broke in.

 

“Breakfast!? That was hours ago, you’re telling me this boy hasn’t eaten since breakfast!” Dorota looked around the room as the other three held their heads in shame.

 

Luke nestled into the bed closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep. Dorota made the first move silently motioning for them to follow her. She tapped Ashton on the shoulder as if asking him to stay and watch over Luke. He nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed.After 20 minutes or so Dorota sent Michael in with a bowl of soup,some bread and a muesli bar.

 

“Lu..Lu?” Ashton gently shook the blonde haired boy awake.

 

“Hmm.” Luke blinked getting up from his nap.

 

“Michael brought you some food Lu.” Ashton replied. “Come on sit up for a bit.”

 

Luke struggled to get into a sitting position,he ended up with his back pressed into the headboard of the bed. 

 

He graciously accepted the offered food, slurping back the soup and munching on the bread. Michael attempted to leave the room when he heard Luke softly mumble “Mike stay.”

He turned around and looked at the blonde haired boy, propped against the headboard. His blonde hair was flat and he looked drained and tired.He made his way back to Luke’s bed and stood awkwardly at the side.

 

“Ash do you mind? I just need to talk to Mike about something.”

Ashton nodded, he took one last look at Luke, patted Michael on the back and exited the room.

 

“So you wanted to talk to me?” Michael asked confused as to why Luke kicked Ashton out.

 

“Yeah.” he mumbled in response. “We need to talk.” He weakly patted the bed,motioning for Michael to take a seat on the bed.  
Michael obliged but was nonetheless worried about what Luke had to say to him.


	8. If I could say the things that I wanna say I'd find a way to make you stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from If You Don't Know

Luke made no attempt to start the conversation instead he laid his hands across the comforter and played with his fingernails trying to distract himself from the inevitable. He was scared about how Michael would react,he knew that what he had to say would change the dynamic of their friendship drastically. He didn't want to tell Michael but at the same time he knew he had to. If he didn't it would keep adding up and adding up until one day where Luke would burst and Michael would freak out. He couldn't let that happen, he needed to tell Michael and he needed to do it now. He just didn't know how to start the conversation. He wanted to get to the point but at the same time he didn't want to be too direct.

 

“What’s wrong?” Michael began, shuffling on the bed in an attempt to be comfortable,Luke had the comforter in his hands and was lazily twisting it into little knots and then letting it loose,causing creases in the material.

 

“Calum.” he blurted, _the sooner he got out with it the better._

 

“What do you mean?” _What did Luke mean surely he didn't have a problem with Calum. They'd all been friends since their childhood, despite Michael and Calum being currently involved with each other, Luke didn't seem to mind. He didn't seem like the type to hold grudges and he definitely wouldn't dream of hurting either one of his friends._ So Michael was utterly baffled.

 

“You’ve been spending so much time with him lately.”

 

“He’s my boyfriend Luke of course I’m spending time with him.” He reasoned.

 

“Yeah but you...you don’t spend any time with me.”

 

“We hung out three days ago. We showered together. I drove with you today, isn’t that enough?” _Luke being jealous made no sense at all, especially jealous of Calum. He thought of Calum like a brother,he wouldn't deliberately hurt him._

 

“Look Mike don’t take this the wrong way, I love Calum I do. And he makes you so happy and loved and he’s a wonderful person and such an amazing boyfriend, he’s there for you through all of your shit, he’s perfect really. But what about me?”

 

“What about you?” A little anger slipped into his tone, _really Luke was taking things a bit too far,comparing himself to Calum._

 

“Michael, you can’t honestly expect me not to feel neglected,after all we’ve been through.”

 

“Neglected? Luke! Calum is my BOYFRIEND! You can’t expect me to treat you the same way I treat him. We aren’t dating anymore do you not get that!?" He needed to set Luke straight. _He was definitely overstepping the mark._

 

Luke shrunk back into the bed scared at the shift in Michael’s tone. His fingers continued playing with the comforter,by now the comforter was scrunched between his fingers. It acted as a shield against Michael's words,but still the pain was too unbearable. He just wanted to be upfront with Michael,tell him the truth.Michael stared at him,his green eyes boring into the pale boy in bed. He wasn't necessarily angry at him, just very confused. _If Luke had something he wanted to say to him he should've just blurted it out._

 

“Mike, I don’t want that from you. I just want to be able to hang out with you like we did before. I’m not asking you to dump Calum or not spend as much time with him. But you’ve gotta understand..”

 

“Understand what!?” He snarled “That you’re selfish? That you want me all to yourself!? That i'm not allowed to be fucking happy without you being the one to make me feel that way? Fuck you Luke!” with that he stormed out slamming the room door behind him.

 

“You’ve got to understand that I need you too.” Luke mumbled into the empty room. "We've got to stop pretending that your relationship with Calum isn't ruining our friendship. I fucking miss you and you don't even realise it, fuck you don't even seem to care." he added even though he knew Michael had already left.

 

Michael slumped against the door and sank down. He heard everything Luke had to say but he was confused about what to do. On one hand he could be there for Luke but then Calum would feel neglected and he didn't want to do that to him especially since he'd already been through so much. But if he continued focusing all his attention on Calum, Luke would get worse and that was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want to have to choose between his best friend and his boyfriend but he had no other choice.

  
  



	9. Memories are pay-per-view, It costs too much to think of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Story of Another Us

Sitting outside the room Michael had his head rested on his knees contemplating his choices. On one hand he could choose to support his boyfriend through this tough period in his life. Really it was quite amazing how long Calum had kept this a secret from Luke and him, it must've been so tough, he reflected, to experience all of that and not being able to tell a single soul. He knew that the only reason Ash and Dorota knew was because they happened to catch him at a vulnerable time in his life.

 

On the other hand, Calum did avoid him from three days and led him to believe that he was cheating on him with Ashton. Luke was there for him when he was upset, Luke was always there to lend him a shoulder to cry on. He was always there to listen to all of Michael's problems, he really was Michael's best friend. But choosing Luke over Calum meant foregoing his relationship and he didn't want that, especially since their revelation the previous night, especially since they spent the most part of the morning in close proximity to one another. Since he missed having Calum around, missed his hugs and cuddles, his scent, his sense of humour,his sarcastic comments, all of the things he was so passionate about that he never stopped talking about them. He knew he had to make a choice, but goddamn why did it have to be so hard?

 

Choosing Luke meant he'd have another shot to make things right between them, to let the relationship run its course instead of the many break-ups between them.But it also meant that he'd break Calum's heart if he choose Luke over him. Things would never be the same again.

Choosing Calum meant spending the rest of his life running away from people he hadn't even know existed until a few hours ago. But he'd still be with Calum, he'd still be able to spend every day with him, cuddling him, supporting him and being by his side throughout this whole ordeal. 

 

"Hey Champ." Ashton murmured coming to sit beside Michael.

 

"Ashton." He replied.

 

"You talk to Luke?"

 

"A bit."

 

"And what did you two decide?"

 

"Wait you knew about this?"

 

"That's what we were talking about today in the car."

 

"I don't know what to do Ash."

 

"I can't tell you what to do Mike, but they both deserve to have you in their lives."

 

"But what do I do? hell I don't even know if Luke wants to talk to me again."

 

"He'll come around."

 

"I don't know As-"

 

He was cut off by Ashton crashing his mouth against his lips, despite being shocked at the other man's movements Michael kissed back. Then pulled away after a few short seconds.What _the fuck was with everyone today? was it confuse Mikey day? because it honestly feels like it._

 

"What the actual fuck Ashton!? NO!" He got to his feet ready to sprint away from him. But he could hear Ashton chuckling so he settled for glaring at the other man. _Really who the fuck did he think he was,kissing me like that._

 

"Wanted to see why those two are so star struck with you." He finally admitted his cheeks flushed and a mischievous glint in his eye.

 

"And did you find out why?" Michael asked slumping against the wall.

 

"No." He admitted "But it was fun, and after the day we've had today I needed something so utterly shocking to get me out of whatever the fuck this is."

 

"Glad I could be of some use dickwad." He grumbled.

 

"You don't like me very much do you?"

 

"First of all I thought Calum was cheating on me with you, then I find out that you have a crush on my Ex boyfri- I mean my bestfriend then I find out that you know more about my boyfriend's past then me and then cherry on top of the fucking pie YOU FUCKING KISSED ME. So yeah I guess you can say I don't like you very much at all."

 

"Ex boyfriend huh." He nudges Michael "Is there something you want to tell me about you and Luke?"

 

"There's nothing going on between us.And  just for the record I don't feel the same way as I did before and neither does he. I guess lately i've been so fixated on Calum,that I haven't spent as much time with Luke. Honestly both of them are equally important to me and I chose Calum over Luke,it shouldn't have to be that way. I wasn't so nice to Luke when I went in their earlier. I blamed him for being jealous, but he wasn't being jealous was he? No he just wanted to be able to talk to me like old times. Except this time I fucked up, I made the mistake. He loves you a lot Ash, he has since he first laid eyes on you. If I wasn't so bloody entranced with Calum I would've been able to see that." He began tearing up.

 

"Hey hey none of that. Come here." Ashton pulled him into a tight embrace. "You don't have to be sorry for anything. I know Luke's your best friend and I know you two have history, he cares deeply for you. He just wants you to be happy and he can see that you're happy with Calum,he just...look Mikey I don't know how to say this without being direct so I'm just gonna say it. He is happy for you two and he doesn't care that the both of you constantly shove your relationship in his face, he loves you two so much he really does. He just misses the fact that things aren't like they were before,he feels a little left out because Calum and you are always doing couple things."

 

"I don't know what to do Ash, they both need me."

 

"Talking to them is a start."

 


	10. So here I am are you ready,Come on let me hold you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is from Ashton's point of view. Title from Always by Blink 182.Any feedback is appreciated :)

3AM

Ashton was woken up by the soft sobs in the dark room. He felt around for his glasses, after locating them and managing to put them on without stabbing himself in the eye, he reached for his phone. Typing in the password, he waited a couple of seconds before he got to the homescreen. In bold black numbers he saw the current time illuminated. 3am it read or more specifically 3:03, it was way too early in the morning for anyone to be awake.

 

 _Maybe Luke is having a bad dream._ He thinks to himself.  _If I go wake him up he'd be disoriented and confused. It's best to leave him alone, he needs to rest after the past week he's gone through._

Yet as he snuggled back into the floor (since he didn't want to freak Luke out by sleeping alongside him in the bed and the couch was way too small) he could hear the tiny sniffles. _I_ _'ll just check to make sure he's asleep._

He slowly detangled himself from the sheets and made his way to the bed, trying not to knock anything down and wake Luke up never mind the whole household.He could briefly outline the shaking figure enclosed within the doona, he approached it slowly still believing Luke to be having a nightmare.

 

"Lu." He softly whispered. The figure turned slowly to see him but it was too dark to make out any actual features.

 

"Ash*hic* is that *hic* you?"

 

"Mhmm are you okay buddy?" Ashton ventured coming closer to what he assumed was the night light.

 

"It doesn't matter."

 

"So there is something wrong?"

 

Luke didn't reply just further sunk into the sheets with a soft whimper.

 

Ashton slowly flicked the switch and the room was bathed in a pale yellow from the night light. Despite the dimness in the room, the light was enough to illuminate Luke. Ashton let out a soft gasp at what he saw.

There was Luke,despite being swaddled amongst the sheets,his wrists sat atop the covers.Instead of being clear and soft looking as before,his arms now were covered in angry red crescent shaped marks.  _Did he do that to himself?_

 

"Luke." He tried again, this time sliding beside the blonde boy. "What's wrong?"

 

He turned to face Ashton,his eyes red rimmed,his pale skin blotchy.

 

"Why does it hurt so much?" 

 

He chose not to answer him,mainly because he had no clue as to what was going on with him. He knew Luke would eventually tell him.Instead he  wrapped his arms around the younger boy,pulling him closer.He instantly let go when he felt him wince.

 

"Did you..do...that?" he whispered.

 

'Helps to keep me calm."

 

He didn't reply, _what am I meant to say?_

 

Luke continued crying,his whole frame shuddering with the force of his sadness.Ashton looked on helplessly,then it finally dawned on him.

 

"It's Michael isn't it." he whispered.

 

Luke didn't have to answer, Ashton felt like he already knew.

 

"Tell me what happened."

 

"We talked like old times,but he kept interrupting me to talk about Calum.But that's okay I didn't mind. He looked so happy, there wasn't a moment when he stopped smiling. And then *hic* he got a message from Calum,and the second he saw it...he..he didn't care anymore. I was just going to tell him something important *hic* and he just said he had to go.Fuck Ash I thought I could do this but he left me.He didn't care. No one cares, I'm not good enough."

 

 _shit shit shit_  "I'm so sorry Luke."

 

"But hey at least he's so fricking happy right, he's over the fucking moon." He bitterly mumbled.

 

"Luke."

 

"No it's okay,I deserve it." With that he turned away from Ashton and fell asleep as if nothing had happened.

 


	11. Won't You Torture Someone Else's Sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Anathema by Twenty-One Pilots

The Next Morning- Breakfast

"What the fuck did you say to Luke!?" Ashton growled as he pushed Michael into the wall. Michael blinked in confusion, wincing from being shoved and attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He countered staring directly staring into the other's hazel eyes albeit tiredly.

 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Ashton insisted pinning him to wall again, this time a little harsher. _That's gonna leave a bruise_ Michael thinks.

 

Luckily Calum to Michael's aid wrapping his arms around Ashton and pulling him away from Michael.

"He says he doesn't know what you were talking about,care to explain Ashton?"

 

"Luke was crying last night, he said you guys talked last night, so I want to know what you said to him." He replied albeit a little more calmer than he had been a few minutes prior.

 

"What's wrong with Luke?" Calum piped up hearing about the topic for the first time.

 

"He..." Michael trailed off.

 

"He hasn't been eating or sleeping properly for the past two weeks and I'm sure you're aware that he's been drinking pretty heavily too." He addressed the last part directly to Calum who shrank against the mention of Luke's hangover the previous morning.

 

"He hasn't eaten for 2 weeks!" Michael exploded. 

 

"Why is he doing this? Is something wrong?" Calum questioned looking between the older boys.

 

"He's in love with Michael." Ashton concluded, sending a sympathetic glance towards Calum.

 

"I'm not!" Luke interjected coming to stand behind the group of three.

 

"Are you?" Michael asked his green eyes boring intensely into Luke's blue ones. "Are you in love with me?"

 

Luke averted his gaze "No I'm not in love with you...there's someone else, he's in a relationship."

 

"Luke!" the three of them exclaimed in unison.

 

"Look I wasn't planning on telling you guys because I honestly didn't think it would last this long but-."

 

Dorota chose this moment to walk up to the 4 boys and asked them to join her breakfast.

 

"Come on you need to eat, you leave today and you need a good meal before we get on the road."

 

They all hastily agreed but the three of them kept sending Luke looks from across the table hoping for him to bring up their previous conversation. Luke however avoided their eye contact and attempts to talk to him as each of them gently kicked him under the table. Instead he focused on playing with the spoon in his coffee. 

 

"Dorota thank you for your hospitality and well for everything over the past few years... Michael and I discussed this last night and we think that we've come to a decision and we believe Luke will support this idea too." Calum began.

 

Luke looked up at mention of his name but focused his attention on his toast when he accidentally made eye contact with Ashton.

 

"We want to give you our apartment and our cars, it should cover the cost of the van." Michael interjected.

 

Underneath the table he ran his fingers over Luke's in a sign of cooperation. That apartment was like a second home to him, they had experienced a lot of good and bad memories but nonetheless Michael never felt like he belonged more than when he was in that house. It isn't the house that matters it's the people that make it a home that are important he keeps repeating to himself. With both his boyfriend and best friend at his side he knew that no matter what that feeling of home would never leave him as long as they were not separated. The addition of Ashton to their friend circle had made their lives a lot more interesting and complicated but nonetheless added joy and sense of adventure to their lives. It was like they had found their missing puzzle piece, he fit so easily into their lives it was a wonder they didn't connect so well on previous occasions.

 

"Luke can we please talk to you?" Ashton interjected between chews of his toast and sips of orange juice.

 

"You're talking to me now." Luke responded still refusing to make eye contact with his three companions. 

  
"If you'll excuse me I have to water my plants." Dorota intoned rising from her seat and carrying her plate into the kitchen, she stood by the sink,slowly washing away the remaining crumbs on her plate. She gave a small wave before skipping into the garden.

 

"Tell us about this guy in a relationship."

 

"I don't want to."

 

"That's okay Luke,but does he know you're doing this to yourself.Surely he wouldn't want you to be doing this to yourself." Michael reasoned whispering from opposite Luke.

 

Luke sent him an angry glare suggesting that the change in topic was off limits, for right now anyway.

 


	12. Train wreck that I am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3

Afternoon

"Where's Luke?"  Ashton asked Michael once they had finished packing the car with the remaining supplies.

 

"I'm not sure I'll ask Cal." Michael offered as he walked briskly to the house.

 

"Cal!" he called out as he entered the house, as he passed Dorota she smiled at him. "He's in the shower Mike, leave the keys under the flowerpot. I promise i'll take care of your apartment until you get back,however long that may be. You boys are like family to me, I hope everything works out I really do. I just want all four of you to be happy, take care of them Mike, you're their rock." She said this with  tears glistening in her eyes.

 

"Do you mean that?" He asked his voice slightly breaking.

 

"Of course I do sweetheart, if anyone can take care of those three it would have to be you." She smiled grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

 

"Thanks Dora, I hope we do see each other soon, I promise I'll take care of them." 

 

With that Dorota headed for the front door, turning back briefly to look at Michael.

 

Michael knocked on the bathroom door. Calum called out from the shower that he'd be out in a few minutes. He kept true to his promise as within a few minutes he came out steaming from the shower, a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. Michael drank in the sight, forgetting for a moment his original intention. He couldn't help but move forward and crash his lips against his boyfriend's. Calum immediately reciprocated letting his arms circle around Michael's mid-riff and pulled him closer.They stayed like that for a few minutes savouring the stolen moment. They heard someone clearing their throat, they pulled apart slowly,both a little breathless.

 

"Did you find Luke?" Ashton asked sternly from the doorway, clearly unimpressed with the two of them.

 

"Find Luke? Luke's missing!?" Calum exclaimed moving towards Michael and poking him in the chest "Why didn't you tell me! he's my best friend too!"

 

"I..I'm sorry I..." Michael stuttered.

 

"We need to find him, we can't have him wandering the streets." Calum glared at Michael for not telling him sooner.

 

"Have you called him?"

 

"No."

 

"Michael!"

 

"Look we'll just look in his favourite spots, he's bound to turn up."

 

"Okay lets go now!"

 

"Cal you're not wearing any clothes."

 

"Oh right, give me five minutes I'll meet you guys in the car." 

 

2 Hours Later

Michael, Calum and Ashton sat in the car contemplating how their once normal lives had turned into something from a TV soap. With dangerous parents on the loose, a multitude of secrets, a kindly helper,dramatic declarations of love and a missing member of the gang they were a walking cliche.

 

"Where the hell could he be?" Michael finally burst out, it wasn't aimed at anyone he was just thinking out loud.

 

"I don't know Mike we've looked everywhere." Calum reached over to pat his boyfriends hand but pulled away when Michael bristled when he moved forward.

 

"Not everywhere." Ashton surmised looking between the two.

 

"What do you mean, not everywhere?"

 

"He mentioned that he was seeing someone."

 

"But we don't know who it is or where they live or their phone number. Hell we don't even know how long they've been seeing each other."

 

Michael hit his hand against the steering wheel in frustration, his best friend was missing and he had a sick feeling in his stomach that he was the reason behind it.

 

"We should try the park again,Luke loves the park." Calum suggested this time going through with his original intention, he reached out and held Michael's fingers within his own. Michael attempted a weak smile in his direction at his suggestion but he seemed to agree as he started up the car and drove in the direction of the park.

 

The boys spent another half an hour looking around the park before they spotted him. He was running towards them, a backpack swinging from his back. When he finally approached them he puffed out a "Hi." 

 

"Where the fuck where you!?" Michael burst out grabbing the other by his shirt. Luke blinked in confusion at his words, he had told them he was going out.

 

"I told you I was going out." He reasoned attempting to gently shove Michael away from him. Michael held on even tighter after he uttered that sentence.

 

"No. You.Didn't." he shoved Luke, not too hard but enough to get his message across  _why didn't you tell us you were going out_ it seemed to say.

 

Luke shook his head in disagreement, his message coming across as  _I did but none of you were listening after I refused to tell you guys about the person in my life._

 

"When?" Michael spat out, Calum and Ashton shared a look between them as if saying _we should probably leave these two alone to discuss and sort things out._

 

"At breakfast, you three didn't give a shit about it. I guess i'm not of interest to you if I refuse to tell you the little things in my life."

 

"Luke you know that's not true." 

 

"Do I Michael? because honestly these past few months have been utter hell for me. We've barely talked and when we do its limited to the dumb shit you don't want to know about me because I'm not interesting. I don't do interesting things at all, you think of me as being a huge bore."

 

"I don't think that!"

 

"I get it Michael, no one compares to Calum, not even Calum can compare to the Calum you've created in your head. You literally put everyone you meet on a fucking pedestal and when they don't live up to your expectations its like you don't give a shit about them anymore. You just fucking leave and you don't fucking care, so stop pretending that things between us are alright because they aren't.They haven't been for a long time." Luke snarled at Michael shoving him back. Calum cleared his throat from behind them but refused to put any input into the conversation.

 

"Where were you Luke? Please,just tell me the truth." Michael asked again.

 

"Why the fuck do you even care?"

 

"Because you're my best-" Luke cut him off by shoving him again.

 

"Don't give me that bullshit about being my best friend, half the shit i've been through this year you didn't even bat a fucking eyelid. You don't get to decide when you have a part in my life. You're either in or you're out and you've been out for so long that I don't think its worth it anymore."

 

"Luke." Michael sounded defeated as he realised his previous actions in shutting off Luke. _God how was I such a dick._

 

"I was at his house." Luke replied looking between a silent Ashton, a confused Calum and a guilty Michael. When they didn't reply he added " I told him about my recent eating habits and the drinking, we discussed some stuff."

 

Michael looked up curiously "What happened?"

 

Luke moved closer to him and lifted up his shirt, both sides of his body were turning blue and purple from dark green, the remainder of the skin was an angry red. The three boys gasped in surprise, Michael lunged closer to Luke and pulled him into his arms as the other boy collapsed into tears.

 

"Hey hey, Lu its gonna be okay." he keeps muttering into Luke's chest, stroking his hair.

 

"I'm sorry we pressured you to talk to him." Ashton apologised moving closer to the two and gently ruffling Luke's hair.

 

"No its my fault I should've known better."

 

"No! you shouldn't blame yourself for this, this is not your fault."

 

"Come on we've got to get going, Luke there's some blankets and pillows and shit in the back. You rest there until you feel better." Ashton suggested as he walked towards the car, Michael followed with Luke and Calum silently behind.

 


	13. So Save Me From Who I'm Supposed To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Social Casualty

"You can go sit up back with him if you want"- they'd been driving for two hours,Luke had been sleeping for the most part and Michael had kept turning around every 10 minutes to check on him.

 

"Hmm?" Michael turned around to face Calum.

 

"I'll stop the car up here and you can go keep him company."

 

"Thanks Cal."

 

A few minutes later Calum had pulled up at the side of the road and waited for Michael to hop in the back alongside Luke.

 

"Hey." Luke sleepily greeted, he had the duvet pulled up to his chin, his blonde hair was squashed flat over his forehead as he managed a weak smile at Michael.

 

"Hey buddy,how are you feeling?"

 

"M' a bit tired." Luke pulled the duvet up further shivering a little bit as he did. His blue eyes staring straight into Michael's green ones.

 

"We should talk."

 

"Mhmm...come here Mikey." Luke held out his arms and motioned for Michael to come closer to him. The other man nodded and crawled towards him as the car kept moving. Calum and Ashton who were seated at the front decided to give the other two some privacy turned the radio up a little bit louder so as drown out their voices.

 

"I'm sorry about being such a dick Luke, I mean it. I should've been more attentive to you, you're my best friend, you're more than that you're family. I shouldn't have ignored you like that, I should've been there for you. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me."

 

"It's fine Mike."

 

"No Luke it isn't you shouldn't have to go through this alone. I'm so sorry for everything, I really am."

 

Luke shuffled a little bit closer to him and pulled him in under the duvet. 

 

"I'm sorry too I should've told you but you were so happy with Cal and it never seemed like a good time to bring up the topic. I know Calum is going through some shit too. We'll get through this I promise we just have to work together."

 

"Yeah you're right, but in order for us to help each other you have to tell us everything. Whenever you're ready Luke, we'll be here for you. I promise you that."

 

"I wouldn't know where to start." Luke mumbled slinking under the duvet covers. He looked so sad and innocent that Michael wanted to pull him into his arms and hug him until he was okay again. Instead he settled for running his fingers over Luke's hand as a way of comforting him and making him feel safe.

 

"You can tell us about him." Ashton called out from the front, he lowered the radio, turning around to give Luke a reassuring smile. As if to say _it's alright we're here for you no matter what._

 

Luke managed a weak smile at his friends before sitting upright in his chair. He took a deep breath and started his story.

 

 

 


	14. How Did We End Up Talking In The First Place?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from End Up Here by 5SOS

_~_ Flashback to 3 months ago- Friday Night~

"Are you sure you guys don't want to come to this party with me?" Luke yelled from the bathroom.

 

"Should we go? Its not like we're doing anything." Calum mumbled to his boyfriend.

 

Michael turned to face him considering the two options: going to a party to get drunk when there was loud music blaring from every corner, every inch of the floor crammed with people, empty plastic cups and glass bottles, a circle of people sitting on the floor passing around god knows what,somehow managing to lose Calum amongst the horde and trying to pull Luke and his tongue out of some poor person who they'd probably never see again. Yeah Michael had made his decision.

 

"Babe we have the whole house to ourselves tonight." He quirked his pierced eyebrow "Are you sure you want to go to a party?"

 

Calum shook his head staring lustfully into Michael's entrancing green eyes.

 

"No thanks Lukey, I think Cal and I will settle for watching whatever shitty movie is on the tv tonight." 

 

"And by that I think you mean that the second I close the front door, Calum will be straddled on top of you, your tongue down his throat, his hand down your pants, your hands doing god knows what to make red marks on his back?" Luke scoffed as he entered the living room where Michael and Calum were cuddling on the couch. They both reddened at his suggestion.

 

"You look good Luke." Michael offered disentangling himself from Calum and coming to stand next to Luke, fluffing his hair.

 

"Hey! I spent 2 hours doing my hair." Luke pouted running a hand through his messy hair.

 

"Your hair looks fine you big dork, hurry up and get out of here.Also Michael sit your ass back down." 

 

2 Hours Later

5 drinks down and Luke was sat on the couch listening to a couple argue about pancakes and waffles, a few minutes later they had come to the agreement that pancakes were better (Luke totally didn't agree, who in their right mind chose pancakes over waffles?) Spotting his friend Scott, Luke waved him over. 

 

"Where are the other two?" he greeted as he jumped on the couch.

 

"Home, Where's Brooke?"

 

"Home studying for finals, I just popped in to see the gang but I promised I'd sneak her a few drinks." He chuckled motioning towards the six-pack near his feet.

 

"I'm thinking of heading off too." 

 

"Ash not here?" The other teased.

 

"Haven't seen him." He mumbled.

 

"Don't give up hope man, I'm sure he's here somewhere and if not I'm sure you'll find someone else." He winked as he grabbed the six-pack, waving as he left the house.

 

Luke sighed, _It won't hurt to walk around the party again and I could use another drink_. He thought as he pushed himself off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. The kitchen was packed with hordes of people, most people were gathered around the bench top chewing on pizza and chasing it down with beer, another group piled around 2 guys manning the keg stand, a few feet away from them a group of people were doing body shots off the kitchen table, a bowl of lemons and salt sitting on the very edge. The air was thick with smoke from the stoners in the lounge, Luke tried to see who was lying on the kitchen table but the crowd was too thick for him to see. Opening the fridge and grabbing a can of lemonade he squeezed through the crowd to grab a bottle of vodka. With the bottle safely in his grasp he headed towards the nearest table and poured himself a drink. A few drunken girls swept past him shooting him flirtatious looks and twirling their hair. He felt someone's hands slip past him to grab his cup of vodka and lemonade. 

 

"Thanks Dude!" the person called out as they walked away with his drink. _What the actual shit, at least they left the bottle._ Deciding to pour himself another drink Luke attempted to pour the contents of the bottle into his cup only to find out that was nothing remaining. Swearing under his breath he grabbed his cup of lemonade and made his way back to the lounge. _I seriously need more friends._ Collapsing onto the couch sipping at his lemonade and eyes trailing around the room he spotted a group guys supporting the weight of their heavily drunk friend. Luke swerved just in time before the group of guys threw the drunk guy onto the couch beside him. He reeked of beer, vodka and very strong cologne, Luke gagged from the smell. The guy turned to face him after hearing him gag,his dark brown eyes were clouded but nonetheless he smiled at Luke all dimples and Luke melted. _Holy shit is he smiling at me?_

 

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Were the first words he said to Luke, who turned into a human embodiment of the heart-eyes emoji at the sound of his voice. Luke snapped out of his trance and held out his cup towards towards the guy. "Drink some of this, it'll make the next part a little easier."

 

"The next part?" The guy asked confused. Luke got up off the couch and held out his hand to the other man. "Yup, come with me."

 

Hand in hand, Luke led the man up the stairs past the crowds of drunk youth towards a set of rooms, keying in a code at the door and pulling him inside a immaculate room. Everything within the room was spick and span, the carpet smelt freshly vacuumed, the walls were eggshell white with picture frames adorning the walls. The man let go of Luke's hand and sat on top of the bed, bouncing slightly on it to test its softness. 

 

"Uh uh." Luke tutted "Come here, Lisa will kill me if you get sick on her floor."

 

"Who's Lisa?" he asked before a wave of nausea hit him and he ran towards the bathroom. 

 

(~/~)

He was on his knees in front of the toilet when he emptied his stomach into the bowl. He turned around to face Luke, another wave hit him and he ended up with his face poised over the toilet seat. The bile in his throat leaving a sick feeling in his stomach and a worse taste in his mouth. He spat into the toilet trying to rid himself of the taste but to no avail.

(~/~)

 

Luke watched from behind him, standing awkwardly wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. On one hand the guy was a complete stranger and his friends ditched him. On the other hand he was incredibly hot and even though he smelt like absolute shit and currently puking his guts up,Luke still felt attracted to him. Just a teensy tiny bit. 

 

"Here." Luke handed him a cup of water. The man reached for the cup but his vision was still a bit shaky and his hand hit the edge of it spilling some water on the tiled floor. Luke took the hint and crouched next to the guy, pushing the cup past the guy's lips.

 

"Wash out your mouth first, spit and then you can swallow." he instructed. He did what he was told and made an attempt to stand up,however it made him more dizzy and he puked this time all over himself. He stared at Luke his cheeks flushed due to embarrassment from chucking up over himself.

 

"It's okay, why don't you hop into the shower and I'll bring you some fresh clothes and a towel. Come on buddy." Luke cooed gently pushing him into the direction of the shower.

 

"You're not gonna leave me here are you?" he asked blinking up at Luke,his brown eyes making him look like an innocent little puppy.

 

"Of course not, I'll be right back." Luke promised as he shut the bathroom door.

 

He waited until he heard the shower running before he headed back downstairs. He went to the kitchen first, grabbing a cup,instant coffee,sugar, milk and a spoon.As he headed up the stairs he encountered several couples making out on the steps and others in the corridor pressed against the walls. After punching in the keycode, he entered the room and heard the shower still running the background. Deciding he'd just wait until the guy was finished before he asked him anything further,Luke rifled through the cupboard until he found what he needed: a kettle, clothes and towels.Several minutes passed and Luke was getting a little concerned,the guy had been in the shower for ages surely he didn't need that long. He knocked on the door, then realising he didn't know the guy's name he continued knocking, hearing no response he warned the guy that he was coming in.

 

He slowly opened the door,peeping through the slit to see if the guy was still there. Luke saw him in a heap on the floor and hurried into the shower. He turned off the faucet and inspected the guy's body. He had a pulse but it was faint, his skin was slightly red and wrinkled from the hot water. Luke silently cursed to himself for being so stupid and leaving the guy alone. He draped the other boy's arm around his neck and grabbed his legs carrying him bridal style to the bed. Lisa was going to kill him for ruining her bedsheets but she'd understand. Wrapping the guy in towels,Luke attempted to shake him awake. However since that wasn't working Luke looked around the room and spotted it: the bottle of perfume Lisa never used because it had a strong smell. It was nowhere near smelling salts but he had no other choice, spraying the foul smelling perfume on a tissue Luke held it close to the guy's nose hoping he would inhale it and by some miracle wake up. It seemed to work as the guy slowly blinked in confusion at his surroundings.

 

"Who the fuck are you? and what is that awful smell?"

 

"Hi I'm Luke, your friends dumped you on the couch and you said you felt sick so I brought you up here. You kinda vomited on yourself and I suggested that you take a shower, except I'm an idiot and I should've stayed with you. I'm not exactly sure what happened but I assume you passed out in the shower." 

 

"Oh, uh thanks I guess." he replied staring into Luke's eyes trying to see if he was lying or not.

 

"Do you want some coffee? I can make some coffee uh I'm sorry what did you say your name was?" Luke stuttered trying not to gaze too deeply into the other's eyes. _God Luke the guy literally passed out on your watch and you're crushing on him already!?_

 

"Trouble." He winked at Luke. _What a fucking tease_

 

"You certainly are." Luke blushed back. Realising he offered the guy coffee he went back into the bathroom to fill up the kettle. 

 

"There's some clothes on the bed." He called out "You can put them on while I make coffee."

 

"Okay." 'trouble' shouted back. 

 

When Luke returned 'trouble' was sitting on the bed looking around the room, when he saw Luke he patted the bed. 

 

"Where did you get the kettle from?" he asked when Luke sat down.

 

"The cupboard, Lisa is always so organised."

 

"Whose clothes am I wearing?"

 

"Mine, do you want sugar?

 

"Two is good,your clothes?"

 

"Yeah I have some here just in case I stay over."

 

"She's your girlfriend?"

 

"One of my exes, Milk?"

 

"Please, so you're single?"

 

"Yup, do you need a lift home?" He handed him the cup.

 

"Thanks, you drove here?"

 

"No I got a taxi."

 

"Want some?" 

 

Luke nodded and accepted the cup taking a small sip and passed it back "What's your name?"

 

"I told you already." He chuckled. _Oh dear god Luke get it together._

 

"I should probably get going, my roommates must be wondering where I am." Luke lied getting off the bed.

 

"So soon?" He pouted at Luke.  _Is this guy for real?_

 

"Yeah I have to go _."_ Luke pretty much speed walked out of the room.  _a few more seconds in there and you would've made a pretty bad decision._ He reassured himself.

 

He headed for the front door, pushing past the crowd. The music seemed too loud, the place a little too packed, the air too thick with sweat. Outside he sat on the pavement and took a deep breath, the whole night was a bust, it was meant to be the one night where he wasn't working, studying, surrounded by Calum and Michael (not that it was a bad thing but sometimes they were couple-y and it was a constant reminder of Luke's singledom after several relationships he just wanted to find someone who he could be himself around, with cheesy nicknames for each other, someone who he could share the good and bad times with, someone who he could joke around with one moment and have a serious conversation with at the next. Hell he wanted someone he could grow old with- yeah you could say he was a romantic at heart.)

 

"Luke?" 

 

He turned around to see who had called him, in the dim streetlight he noticed the guy who called himself 'trouble'. His brown eyes shone and he somehow managed to look hotter in the moonlight than he had done in Lisa's room. _was that even possible?_

 

"Hey." Luke replied turning back to look at his shoes. Maybe if he stopped looking at the guy the crush would disappear. _As if that would work genius_

 

"So about that lift home....are you still offering?" He came and sat next to Luke, he smelt really good, like shampoo and soap unlike how he had when they had first met.

 

"I was thinking of walking home actually." 

 

"You live nearby?"

 

"A few blocks down."

 

"Do you want me to walk you home, its not exactly a safe neighbourhood especially for someone as hot as you."

 

Luke turned to face him, his cheeks flushed his thoughts consisting of hethinksimhot hethinksimhot ohmygod hethinksimhot. He stammered out "If this is meant to be your idea of asking me out on a date it's not working, you could be a creep for all I know."

 

"And how do you figure that? Besides how do I know you're not a creep. I mean I was alone with you for a really long time,how do I know you didn't knock me out yourself." There was a hint of amusement in his tone.

 

"For starters I don't even know your name and secondly do I look like I'm capable of knocking you out? Also what the fuck dude I made you coffee."

 

"Fair enough. Okay okay I get your point, may I please escort you home?" He smirked.

 

"How old are you? Oh my god." Here he paused and lowered his voice "You're not a vampire are you?"

 

The other man doubled over in laughter "You are such a dork oh my god."

 

Luke beamed _I made him laugh,it wasn't even a good joke but I made him laugh._

 

"Can I get a rain check on walking you home? I have my cousin's wedding tomorrow and I'm the best man." He asked regaining his seriousness.

 

"You're the best man for a wedding tomorrow and you decided to get smashed?" Luke was confused, was he trying to blow him off? _He wish he was get blown off in a different way. Luke what the fuck, focus._

 

"My cousin is a dick."

 

"Yet you're still his best man?"

 

"He doesn't have much choice all of my other cousins are even bigger assholes."

 

"How am I meant to get a rain check if I don't even know your name?"

 

"Give me your phone." Luke handed it over. _Really he'd give the guy anything he'd ask for._

 

After typing something into Luke's phone the man handed it back with a smirk. 

 

"Catch you later stud." He called out before walking away from Luke.

 

Luke watched as the other man walked away smiling to himself,happier than he had been in a few weeks. Maybe he just had really low standards but nonetheless he hadn't felt this good and he liked it.He checked his phone to see if the guy had actually out his number in, opening his messaging app he spotted a message he apparently sent to a "Noah aka trouble" it read "Don't forget to send me nudes before your cousin's big day ;)." Really he should've known then it was a bad idea to get involved with a guy who refused to reveal his name but Luke couldn't deny he was extremely attracted to him.

 

 

 


	15. You Are So Far Out Of My League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two of How Did We End Up Talking In the First Place. Includes domestic Malum being sickeningly cute,no Ashton in this chapter sorry. Text messages are in bold btw. Title from End Up Here

Luke’s P.O.V. 

Waking up with the hot sunshine streaming in through his blinds he cursed every god known to man. His head was throbbing, his hair smelt like stale beer and vomit, his throat was dry, his mood worsened when he left his room and spotted Calum and Michael feeding each other cereal.

 

“Guysss we’re in the kitchen!” He grumbled coming to sit at the table, pouring himself a cup of black coffee, no sugar.

 

“So what? You’ve never had a problem with it before.”

 

“Well I’m trying to eat breakfast.”

 

“So are we, also coffee doesn’t constitute as breakfast.”

 

“No you’re not! You’re swapping saliva! And coffee definitely counts”

 

“We were swapping more bodily fluids last night.” _Typical Michael._

 

“Can you take it elsewhere?”

 

“No.” they continued to feed each other.

 

“I take it you didn’t sleep well?” Calum remarked pouring himself a cup of black coffee adding 3 sugars. Resulting from a tsk from both Michael and Luke.

 

“I take it he didn’t get laid.” Michael corrected. Luke scowled at the both of them.

 

“Fucking fuckers.”

 

“Seriously dude lighten up.” Michael stood up and ruffled his hair, Luke grumbled as he slapped his hand away. 

 

“Ooh feisty.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Make me.”

 

“No one is making anyone do anything.” Calum chimed in. “But a suggestion Luke, take a shower you smell like shit.” _So much for Calum being the nice one._

 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence guys.”

 

“You haven’t finished your coffee!”

 

“Can I have your coffee?”

 

“Michael can finish it!”

 

“Thanks babe!” Michael screeched earning a slug from Calum.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“You weren’t saying that last night.” He muttered pushing his chair out.

 

Hurrying into the shower, aware of the putrid smell he was exuding. Noah hadn’t even vomited on him yet he still reeked, the intermixing of stale beer and vomit was enough for him to break out the shower set he had gotten from secret Santa a few years back. Hearing his phone go off twice, Luke set off to his room wearing only the towel and locking the door behind him.

 

The first message was from Alex **“Dude sorry I bailed last night, judging from the shit I had to clean up this morning it must’ve been a wild night.”** And then another which read **“I’m going to kill you! Lisa’s room is a complete mess WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?”**

 

 **‘Hey Sxc.’** He read as he opened the second message, choosing to ignore the previous messages from Alex.

 

‘ **Who is this?”** he typed back.

 

**“Who else?”**

 

**“Do you always answer questions with other questions?”**

 

**“Do you?”**

 

**“This conversation is going nowhere.”**

 

**“Just like your life”**

 

**“Ouch”**

 

**“Sorry,sorry I’ll try to be nice.”**

 

**“Thanks?”**

 

**“You’re welcome, also thanks for sorta kinda taking care of me last night.”**

 

**“S’cool I do my best.”**

 

**“Help me choose which tie to wear?”**

 

**“I forgot you were actually doing something productive today.”**

 

**“Is that a yes?”**

 

**“Yes, but you need to tell me what tie the groom is wearing.”**

 

**“Dude I don’t want to match ties with him.”**

 

**“But we can do the opposite.”**

**“Okay I’ll send you a photo, give me a sec.”**

 

“Luke!” Michael shouted banging on the door.

 

“Yes?” he opened the door, still in his towel.

 

“You seem to be in a better mood than you were 20 minutes ago.”

 

“What do you want Mike?”

 

“Apart from you to put clothes on, world peace, being able to have kittens in our apartment-” Luke stopped him there.

 

“Michael what do you want from me specifically?”

 

“I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the movies.”

 

“You nearly knocked my door down so you could ask if I wanted to go to the movies with you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Why don’t you take Calum?”

 

“He’s gone to the library, the big nerd.”

 

“And you didn’t want to go with him?”

 

“No, he said he wanted to go alone.”

 

“So you’ve gone through all of your friends and I'm the next on the list?”

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

“Isn’t it?”

 

“No! besides I might text Alex and Lisa and see if they want to go out with me.” He smirked walking away from Luke.

 

“You can’t!”  He ran up behind him.

 

“And why’s that?”

 

 Luke’s phone went off signalling a message, which was a photo of four different ties, one with a cross on it. He smiled ignoring the fact Michael was standing there staring at him and replied with " **3rd tie."**

 

“Who’s that?” He asked coming to stand behind Luke and then “Why the fuck are you looking at ties?”

 

“None of your business now if you’ll excuse me I have to get dressed.” He walked away Michael at his heels.

 

“Luukeee.” He sing-songed into his ear.

 

“Miiikeee.”

 

“Explain one thing to me, I know you went to Lisa’s house last night and I know you drank. But I also know you don’t drink that much based on the fact that you are as lightweight as they come and you didn’t seem to be puking up your guts when you got home last night. So explain to me why I got two angry texts from Alex one asking why Lisa’s room and bathroom were trashed and two why the fuck you didn’t reply to his message?” 

 

“He texted you as well?”

 

“Yeah, so please explai-"

 

Luke cut him off “I met someone.”

 

“You met someone? Did something happen between you two? Is that who you're texting?”

 

“Maybe, look I’ve got to get dressed.” He replied as he shut the door in Michael's face.

 

He could hear Michael down the hallway repeating “But why would they send Luke pictures of ties?”

 

After Luke was dressed he made his way to the kitchen to eat a proper breakfast or rather lunch, Michael was on the couch loudly cursing at the people in video game not paying any attention to Luke.

 

Another text came through as he made a sandwich.

 

**“Leaving in 10 wish me luck.”**

 

**“Why would you need luck? You’re not the one who’s getting married.”**

 

**“I’ll need luck to deal with my family.”**

 

**“Fair enough, before you go can I at least see what you look like all dressed up?”**

 

 **“Why? So you can put it in your spank bank?”** Luke blushed at that, well that wasn’t his intention but hey.

 

**“Of course not you dork.”**

 

A few minutes later he sent Luke a mirror selfie. Luke nearly dropped his phone when he saw it.

 

**“You scrub up pretty well.”**

 

**“Hahah thanks, but now it’s your turn.”**

 

**“What? no way!”**

 

**“Lucas.”**

 

**“Noah.”**

 

 **“Please.”** He sent with a photo with puppy dog eyes.

 

Luke couldn’t resist, he quickly snapped a photo discreetly as Michael was sitting on the couch.

 

“ **Holy shit, you’re hotter than I thought.”**

 

**“Uh thanks?”**

 

**“I have to go but I’ll text you later,x”**

 

 Luke spent the rest of the afternoon wondering if the x was just an end to the conversation or if it held another meaning.

 

 


	16. And when I wake up next to you I wonder how,How did we end up here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late,Enjoy :) Title from End Up here

**“I’m booreed.”**

 

**“Dude it’s 3 am.”**

 

**“Why are you still awake? Wait shit did I wake you up?”**

 

**“No, I just couldn’t sleep.”**

 

**“Wanna meet up?”**

 

**“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”**

 

**“Because if I was you’d already be dead.”**

 

**“But what if you just invited me to hang out this morning so you could kill me.”**

 

**“Dude if you don’t wanna hang out you can just say so.”**

 

**“There’s nothing wrong with being cautious.”**

 

**“I promise that I’m not a serial killer and that I’m not gonna kill you.”**

 

**“Pinkie promise?”**

 

**“Pinkie promise? What are you 5?”**

 

**“Excuse you Mr I can’t handle my drinks.”**

 

**“Okay okay, where do you want to meet?”**

 

**“The waffle-house on sixth street.”**

 

**“I’ll be there in 15.”**

 

**“See ya there buddy, x.”**

 

Again Luke was left baffled as to what the x symbolised. Tearing the covers of himself he turned his night light on so he could see where he was going. If he were to knock anything over he’d never hear the end of it. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a jumper over his t-shirt, he grabbed his keys and shut his room door behind him. He returned a few seconds later to spray deodorant over himself, sure it was 3 something in the morning, it didn’t mean he couldn’t smell nice. He left the room again only to come back and try to fix his bedhead. His blonde hair was mussed up from shifting sleeping positions trying to get comfortable, he sighed in defeat as his hair refused to be tamed. He took another look in the mirror before he decided that he couldn’t be bothered what Noah thought. _It past 3am in the morning really who the fuck looked good at this hour?_

 

Arriving at the waffle-house on sixth before Noah, Luke secured a table at the front of the restaurant. Looking over the menu to stop his hands from shaking. He was nervous that Noah wouldn’t show that he was being played all along, that Noah would message him and tell him it was all a joke. He heard someone clear their throat, believing it to be a waitress, Luke placed the menu on the table and slid it across. Looking up he realised he had made a mistake, it wasn’t a waitress but rather Noah standing in the restaurant at 3am in the morning wearing a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his arms. His blue tie was loose around his neck and the buttons of his shirt were undone revealing the deep grooves of his collarbones. _Fuck._ Glancing up the other man’s neck Luke wondered what the skin would look like marked up, fingerprints imprinted alongside bite marks, deep red hickeys covering the pale skin. His gaze then travelled up to his strong jawline and cheekbones, not to mention his eyes were the colour of whiskey, in the dim light of the restaurant it even sparkled a little. _Is he even real? Am I dreaming?_

 

 

“Are you done eye fucking me?” he asked pulling up a chair and drawing Luke out from his reverie.

 

“I wasn’t eye fucking you.” Luke insisted although his cheeks were dusted a deep red, he glanced down at the ground, signalling that’s exactly what he’d been doing. _am I really that obvious?_

 

“Okay whatever, what are you getting?”

 

“Well since we are at a waffle house, the waffles must be good.”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“Is something distracting you?”

 

“Nothing important.”

 

“But there’s something.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Okay, so waffles then?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

After they had finished their waffles (Luke got his with cookies and cream whilst Noah got vanilla ice-cream and chocolate syrup) they sat in silence for a little bit, Luke playing with a sachet of sugar whilst Noah was aimlessly scraping his fork across the plate. They both looked up when they heard someone clearing their throat, but it was only the waitress coming to collect their plates. Luke smiled at her and offered her a tip but she shook her and head and pointed to the tip jar sitting near the front of the store. After paying for their waffles, Luke was unsure whether or not to go home. Deciding that since it was already 3:40 that he should head back, he didn’t want to be interrogated later on in the day if they ever found out he left the house without telling them.

 

Noah drew him out of his thoughts when he uttered “Do you want to come to my house?”

 

“Your house?” _was this meant to be a date? Did he invite me out just so that we could hook up?_

 

“Yeah you know, the place where I live?”

 

Luke remained quiet. _Shit, what am I meant to do?_

 

“Hello? Earth to Luke.”

 

“Hmm what?”

 

“Would you like to hang out at my house? We can watch movies.”

 

“Uh yeah okay.” _Luke what are you doing?_

 

“So why weren’t you sleeping?” They were walking side by side now, their arms brushing against each other.

 

“Just thinking.”

 

They stayed silent for a little while longer, the only lights in the streets came from the lampposts every few metres. There were a few parked cars sitting on people’s driveways, some parked on lawns and others half on the pavement, half on the road.

 

“What were you thinking about?” He leaned in to whisper not wishing to wake anyone from their slumber. Luke could feel his warm breath on his neck, could smell the faded cologne on his shirt.

 

“Huh?” He’d gotten distracted again.

 

“You said that you weren’t sleeping because you were thinking about something, what was it?”

 

“Anything and everything, it usually helps me drift off to sleep but not tonight.”

 

“Oh okay.” He was so close to Luke their palms brushed against each other.

 

A light breeze blew through and Noah shivered, grazing gently against Luke.

 

“Are you cold?”

 

“Mhmm.” He nodded.

 

“Here take my jumper.” Luke offered stopping in the middle of the street to unzip his jumper.

 

“But you’ll be cold.”

 

“It’s okay, we’re nearly there aren’t we?”

 

“Thank you, a few more blocks.” Noah replied slipping the jumper over himself and zipping it up. “It’s so nice and warm.” He remarked smiling at Luke.

 

“Why are you still in your wedding clothes?”

 

“Do you want the short version or the long version?”

 

“Both.”

 

“Short version my father owns a cleaning company, my aunt hired us, we tidied up. Long version, my parents were tired from cleaning up and I told them to go home and that we’d deal with it tomorrow morning. My mum insisted on staying because she knows my aunt Jackie will make a big scene if things don’t go according to her plan. Mum set up the place early morning so she was beyond exhausted, I convinced dad to take her home. I promised them I’d finish cleaning the rest of the place.”

 

“And then you texted me?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They soon arrived at Noah’s house, after he had opened the door, Noah turned back to Luke and motioned for him to be quiet. They silently trudged up the stairs. The house was significantly warmer than the outside, and despite the pitch darkness, Luke could see family portraits hung up on the wall.

 

“Watch the dog.” Noah whispered.

 

“What dog?” Luke asked before he tripped over the ornament and nearly lost his footing. Noah grabbed his arm to steady him, Luke was going to thank him before he was pulled into a dark room.

 

“Why the hell is a dog ornament sitting in the middle of your staircase? You can kill someone like that.”

 

“Shh, yes I know but its to ensure that intruders don’t get in.” he replied collapsing on the bed.

 

“Wouldn’t they have flashlights?”

 

“Didn’t think of that.”

 

“You’re going to ruin your shirt if you lay on it like that.”

 

“Okay Mum.” He sighed getting up from the bed and walking to his cupboard before rifling through it.

 

“Dude it’s so dark in here how can you see anything?”

 

He sighed in defeat as he flicked the switch bathing the room in bright light.

 

“Satisfied? He smirked looking over at Luke who was squinting, the sarcasm was evident in his tone.

 

Without sparing Luke another glance, Noah began unbuttoning his shirt. Luke shifted uncomfortably on the bed. _am I meant to sit here and watch? Does he want me to take my clothes off too?_ He let out a yawn it was nearly 4:30.

 

“Sorry to bore you.” There was that tone again. He was just in his boxers now, staring at Luke.

 

“Well I’ve seen you naked already so its not like it’s a big deal now.” He shot back.

 

“Oh really? Not a big deal.. if it wasn’t a big deal why are you still watching me?”

 

Luke flushed at that, he did have a point. “I wasn’t watching you.” He mumbled looking away.

 

“Do you think I’m attractive?” there was no teasing or sarcastic tone now. He approached the bed slowly, flicking on the night light and walking back to turn the room light off.

 

“I should really get..” Luke got up from the bed, Noah stopped him mid sentence.

 

He asked again “Do you think I’m attractive?” this time softer, it was almost pleading.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’ve never been with a boy before.” He was so close, Luke could smell the shampoo in his hair, his breath which smelt like vanilla ice-cream, he could feel the warmth radiating off his skin. Luke blinked up at him, his eyelashes were so long and brown. Like the wings of a fairy, so beautiful. He sucked in a breath and let it out. _What am I meant to do?_

 

“Can I kiss you?” it was an innocent question. _I can refuse if I want to, spare myself the pain when he realises he doesn’t like me anymore._

 

“Please.” Cerulean blue meeting Whiskey gold.

 

Noah leaned in and closed the remaining distance between them. The kiss was warm and soft, almost just a peck. Just skin on skin, nothing else. Noah pulled away first, opening his eyes to see how Luke had reacted to the kiss.  Luke’s cheeks were flushed but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. He wanted another kiss, just one more. Just to feel someone else lips on his after so long. Noah smiled at him, he had gotten the reaction he wanted. He leaned in again, still starting off with a small peck. He lightly pushed Luke onto the bed, their lips still connected. They stopped for a second whilst Luke got comfortable. Noah was laying on top of him, their cheeks pressed together, he blinked down at Luke admiring the blonde haired, blue eyed god beneath him. He stared into his eyes an unspoken question between them. Beneath him Luke nodded, the brown haired boy leaned down and started kissing him again, then slipped his tongue into Luke’s mouth, sighing in pleasure at the warmth, the pillowy softness of his lips, the mere taste of him so addicting. They knocked teeth, but laughed it off, between breathing in each other’s air. Noah moved to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers over them. Luke pulled him closer so that he was practically on top of him. After a few more kisses they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

 

Luke was shaken awake, when he opened his eyes he saw a brown haired woman in an apron smiling down at him.

 

“Good morning sunshine.” She beamed at him. _This must be Noah’s mum._

 

“Good morning.” He smiled back at her. _Holy shit I’m going to be in so much trouble with Calum and Michael._

 

“Would you like some breakfast? I made French toast and hash browns. I can fry some eggs, bacon and sausages if you’d like?”

 

Luke slid out of the bed and shook his head. “No thank you Mrs..” _holy shit he didn’t even know Noah’s last name._

 

Thankfully Noah seemed to wake up at that exact moment and greeted his mother.

 

“Mum this is my friend Luke, he helped me last night.”

 

“Helped you?” she seemed confused for a moment. Then she chuckled “Oh you mean with the cleaning, of course dear. I was just asking if he wanted to stay for breakfast.”

 

“Thanks ma’am but I really must be going, I promised my roommates that I would clean the fridge out today.” He slid out of bed thankfully still fully clothed.

 

“Thanks for helping me out last night man, I’ll text you later.” Noah called out smiling at him. _I could really get used to seeing that smile everyday._

 

“No problem.” Luke smiled back.

 

Checking his phone he realised that it was already 11am and that Calum and Michael would already be up and looking for him or not depending on whoever topped last night. The fact that he even knew that made him internally cringe,it would definitely be Calum's turn today.He decided to shoot Alex a message **“Hey man sorry about the mess the other night, needed to take care of someone.”**

 

He received a reply 5 minutes later “ **All good man Mikey explained.”**

 

_"Mikey had explained" what the fuck was that supposed to mean?_

 


	17. Oh Everyday You Feel a Little Further Away and I Don't Know What To Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a combination from Noah's perspective and a flash forward to the present day (like when they're driving in the car). Will try to update in a couple of days. Enjoy, Title from Close As Strangers

Noah’s P.O.V.

It had been four weeks since Luke and I first met, we’d gone out on several occasions, usually in the night when we both couldn’t sleep. He took me on late night drives to the beach, the park and sometimes we’d just drive around until i fell asleep. He’d always shake me awake when we got to my house, he’d wish me goodnight with a hug which soon developed to a hug with a peck on the cheek. Which within a few short weeks developed into competitions between us for who could make the darkest hickeys on the other's skin. Whenever he left my house his neck was practically covered with hickeys. In my case, I insisted that the hickeys on my chest were better. He never stayed nights, not after the incident with my mother.I saw him at university sometimes but we always had clashing schedules and it was hard to organise hangouts during the day when we were so busy especially since exams were a week away.

 

“Noah!” mum calls out from the kitchen. I’m sitting in the lounge room, listening to music and attempting to write an essay for Lit, I sigh as I make my way to the kitchen. Both my parents are sat at the table drinking black coffee. As I walk in dad raises his cup in my direction as a silent way of acknowledging me.

 

 “Can you help us out today? If we finish up early you can go to Elise’s.”

 

“I’m actually meeting my friends at the library, it’s a group study session.” I lie, if there’s one thing my parents take more seriously than their company its my education.

 

“A group study session?” my mother asks, I can tell she doesn’t believe me. She glances over at my dad who is reading the newspaper now.

 

“Okay Noah, will we see you for dinner? You can bring Elise if you want.” She smiles at me.

 

“I should really get going.” I insist, waving at my parents before exiting the kitchen.

 

I grab all of my stuff and contemplate texting Luke but remember that he’s working today and he’s studying later on. As I head to the library I wonder if I should invite Elise to dinner, its been a few days since I saw her last. _No last time I invited her over mum deliberately spilt red wine on her dress. And the time before that she managed to make chicken surprise with peanuts as a surprise ingredient resulting in Elise spending the rest of the night in hospital stating that it was just an accident._

 

Deciding that I’d plan something with her soon, I walk into the study area in the library and try to find a spot close to the librarians’ desk. I attempt to start my essay and I get three paragraphs in before I notice a shadow looming over me. I look up to see his beautiful hazel eyes peering over at me from his glasses, fluffy bronde hair (In certain lights it looked almost blonde, but most of the time it looked brown), he’s beaming down at me the dimples in his cheeks so defined that I internally cringe from how cute he is. He’s wearing a red apron over black skinny jeans and white shirt, in his arms he’s carrying several books.

 

“Noah!” He greets me, putting his books on the table and pulling up a chair. I return the smile not really sure what to do.

 

“Studying for mid sems?” He asks breaking me out of my daydreams.

 

“Mhmm.” I nod motioning to the pile of books on my side of the desk. “How about you?” I add not wanting to be rude.

 

He smiles at me again, his dimples on full display, I avert my gaze so that I’m not focusing on him. _He’s a little too distracting._

 

“Yeah I start revision soon, if you want to study together sometime soon just hit me up.” He rises up to leave.

 

“Sure thing.” I blush. _He’s such a genuine and caring person i've always loved that about him._

 

“You should bring Elise!” He suggests enthusiastically.

 

I don’t reply, instead I pretend to inspect my pen and twirl it around my fingers, avoiding all eye contact with him. There’s a moment of silence before he utters “Oh shit.” Really softly. I look and and meet his gaze, he isn’t beaming at me anymore, instead he’s standing there watching my every move, with what seems to look like pity in his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you guys broke up.”

 

I think about lying to him, but staring into his soft, hazel eyes I can’t bring myself to. “We’re still together, strong as ever.”

 

The smile is back on his face, even more pronounced than ever. He slaps my back playfully before walking away.

~Flash Forward to Present Day in the car~

Ashton stops Luke mid-story “You were seeing Noah Evans?”

 

“Do you know him?” its almost a whisper.

 

Ashton turns back to look at Luke his facial expression saying it all.

 

“How do you know him? Did he do the same thing to you?” it was Michael this time. He had his arm protectively wrapped around Luke’s shoulders.

 

“We used to be friends when we were younger, the three of us were inseparable up until they started dating. I’m so sorry Luke I thought you knew.”

 

Luke shook his head, tears slowly forming in his eyes, his breathing getting a little harder with each passing second until they turn into sobs.

 

“Can you please pull over?” he squeaks out between sobs. Calum looks at him through the mirror and can sense his desperation to get out of the car. He silently nods, within a few minutes pulling up to the side of the road.

 

As soon as they stop, Luke tears open the car door, walks a few steps before collapsing into sobs on the ground. Ashton, Calum and Michael sit in stunned silence. Michael makes the first attempt to go and comfort Luke but Calum stops him.

 

“I got this Mike.” He opens his car door gingerly, softly padding over to the sobbing boy.

 

He sits down next to him, not saying anything at first. Luke glances at him and is surprised to see him. He was expecting Mike or Ash or even both of them at the same time, but not Calum.

 

“Cal.”  He murmurs. Calum doesn’t reply, just scoots over closer to Luke and wraps his arms around him. Luke turns so his head is pressed into Calum’s shoulder and he stays there for a while.

 

“I forgot what this feels like.” Luke finally offers. Calum squeezes him closer.Calum’s arms are warm and inviting, despite Luke being taller than Calum, he still manages to fit comfortably. Drinking in his smell, his warmth, the sense of comfort that came with being wrapped in your best friend’s arms. He didn’t have to say anything, it was an unspoken conversation between them. 

 

“I missed this Lukey.” Calum murmurs into his hair. Luke settles in further, no longer crying but not quite happy just yet.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk lately. With all the fake family drama, I forgot my real family, made up of two of the most important people in my life. You’re so important and special to me Luke, you’ve been with me through so much already and there’s so much more to come. I should’ve realised sooner, we live together and not once did I question why you had all those hickeys on your skin, not once did I ask you if you were seeing someone, not once did I ask you if you were happy. Please let me make it better tell me where this asshole lives and I swear to god I will beat the shit out of him.”

 

And Luke chuckles at that because he was expecting it from Michael. Not that Calum wouldn’t keep to his promise, it was just that it was a more typical Michael response. He smiles because Michael and Calum despite everything managed to stay strong, they managed to have such a big impact on each others lives that they were practically the same person. 

 

“You sound like Mikey.” Luke mumbles.

 

“I would hope so, he’s my one and only” Michael declares, coming to sit beside his boyfriend and resting his head on his shoulder. It’s like a weird sandwich between the three of them. Ashton clears his throat behind them, he feels like he’s invading in on personal moment between the three friends.Michael lifts his head up from Calum’s shoulder and beckons Ashton over. He decides to sit by Luke and wrap his arms around the taller boy. It’s a funny sight, four boys sitting together on the side of the road, arms entangled with each others, bodies pressed so close together.

 

“It’s getting dark, Mike do you mind driving?” Ashton asks reaching out from Luke’s back to poke Michael. He nods as he disentangles his limbs from Calum and ruffles both Calum and Luke’s hair as he walks back to the car, followed shortly by Ashton. Luke and Calum remain where they are sitting, a tangle of warm limbs.

 

 

“You really liked him didn’t you?”

 

“I just wanted to be happy. Like what you and Mike have.”

 

“We wouldn’t be us if it weren’t for you. Whenever we argue, you’re always there for both of us, you don’t choose sides. You’re the voice of reason and honestly we wouldn’t be the same without you. We love you a lot and we want you to be just as happy us, we’re here for you no matter what. I promise you no matter what’s going on in our lives we will try to help you as best we can, you just need to talk to us about it.”

 

“Thanks Cal.” Luke attempts a smile at him, knowing that he’s trying his best to comfort Luke despite his own problems mounting up. He gets up from the ground and dusts himself off, putting his hand out for Calum’s.  It’s darker now, a few stars beginning to show up alongside the moon. Cars and other vehicles continue to pass, but despite it all its still quiet. They walk together, their hands still entangled with one another’s to the back of the car. They continue driving, this time Mike is at the wheel and Ashton is fidgeting with the radio dial trying to find a good radio station.

 

“What happened today?” Calum gently asks.There’s silence in the car, everyone holding their breath for what’s about to come. Ashton stops fiddling with the radio dial, choosing instead to look out of the window. Michael beside him concentrates on the road, Whilst Calum is studying Luke’s expression. Luke fiddles with the duvet, adjusting it over himself. There’s a sense of nervous tension in the car so thick you could cut it with a knife.

 

Luke looks over to Calum, who sends him a reassuring smile and a squeeze. He takes a deep breath and begins recounting the events of the day.


	18. Our Heart's Gone and the Timing's Never Right But For Now Let's Get Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, told by Luke and little bits from Ashton. They're still in the car, so it's not like a flashback-y chapter. Luke is just recounting the events of his day. Enjoy :) Title from Roman Holiday by Halsey

“I told you guys I was involved with someone in a relationship because I was, Noah didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend. During one of our midnight hangouts Noah introduced me to this really great sandwich place, its on corner street opposite the fruit and veg market but its only open from 11pm to 3am in the morning on weeknights. But it has the most amazing melted cheese sandwiches, my personal favourite has a mixture of three cheeses, bacon, tomato and cracked pepper on a freshly baked bread toasted right in front of your eyes and its Noah’s favourite too so one night I went over to his to give him the sandwich because I wanted to see him. I walked in on them, they were watching some sort of movie together and she was sleeping on his arm and he had his face rested on her head. Their fingers were entwined and both of them had lovebites on their necks. He saw the door open and he saw me and he looked so guilty that he’d been caught so I threw the sandwich at him and left his house. That’s the night I started drinking, because I couldn’t believe that Noah of all people would do that to me. We were really starting to get to know each other, hell I even wanted to introduce you guys to him. He made me feel so happy and loved, I thought he liked me.”

 

“I’m so sorry Luke I thought you knew that Noah Evans was a huge player.” Ashton turned around to address Luke.

 

“I think he’s in one of my English units. He’s flirted and made out with every girl in our class.” Calum added pulling the blonde haired man closer to him.

 

“He told me he’s never been with a boy before.” Luke stammered looking at Ashton.

 

“He didn’t lie to you about that, he’s never been with a boy.” Ashton admitted. “No guy has been able to get him to go out with them…you’re the first.”

 

“He texted me a few weeks back asking if we could hang out, promised me he’d broken up with her. That he’s changed as a person. That day when you two found me puking, it was the previous night that I found out that he was back with her again, I couldn’t handle it so I started drinking again and skipping meals. I didn’t want to tell you guys because you were already dealing with other things.”

 

“We’re sorry Luke we should’ve realised something was up when we didn’t see you in the mornings. We just assumed you were at work.”

 

“It’s okay guys, besides when you kept asking me about him I knew had to confront him about it. So that’s where I was this morning, I was so angry at him for using me like that and lying to me especially after all the time we spent getting to know each other.”

 

“What happened today? You came back so bruised and battered? Did he do this to you? I will hunt him down if you want me to Luke.”

 

“It’s okay Mike it wasn’t him. I went over to his house this morning, I knocked on the door and greeted his parents. They’d met me a handful of times so it wasn’t that unusual seeing me. I asked if Noah was in and they’d told me that he was in his room and that he was upset because he broke up with his girlfriend.”

 

“He actually did it? He broke up with her?”

 

“Yeah he did. So I went up and talked to him for a little bit and then asked him why he couldn’t tell me that he had a girlfriend. I asked him why he lead me on. He said he was really sorry that he did and that he really did like me, he was just scared of what would happen if his parents found out. Not so much his mother because she really was a darling every time she caught us in bed, which wasn’t often but she just pretended for our sake that nothing was going on she never asked questions. In front of his father however she maintained a good façade for Noah so that he wouldn’t notice anything different.”

 

“Mr Evans has always been like that, he’s so determined to have his own way that both his wife and Noah try to keep their distance so as to not invoke any arguments between them. His sister Kate left their house because of him, she moved out of the state, she keeps in contact with her mum and Noah but she refuses to talk to her father.” Ashton supplied from the passenger seat.

 

“He told me about that and I was a little scared of him but I didn’t think he was capable of physically hurting someone. When Noah told me that he was still in love with me and that he’s never felt this way about anyone else, I believed him. I knew that he was still the same person underneath he just made some bad choices. I couldn’t forgive him right away for what he did because it isn’t alright that he put me through that. I told him that I had to go soon because there was something important that I had to do.He asked me if he could kiss me one last time before I left. I really did miss him so I let him kiss me. His father burst through the doors having heard our conversation and he beat us both up. He threw me down the stairs but somehow I managed not to injure myself too much. Noah came running after me and managed to get me to the park. He had already packed a suitcase and told his mother that he was going to leave if his father didn’t take the news of his coming out well. So he left, he’s staying at the university dorms for the moment but as soon as he’s settled there he’s getting a job and buying an apartment. He wants nothing more to do with his father.”

 

“Wow you’ve really had an intense day.” Michael remarked.

 

“Yeah, I couldn’t get through it without you guys though. So thank you for encouraging me to go see Noah. I know I should’ve told you about him earlier but you know now. Cheesy as it sounds I promise we will get through this.”

 

“Now for the important question.” Michael stated pulling up into a motel carpark.

 

“What’s the most important question?” Calum asked seriously looking at his boyfriend.

 

“Who is sharing rooms?”

 

“Easy I’ll share with Ashton because I want to ask him more about Noah. Besides you two need to sort out your shit. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you two attached to each other’s faces and I can’t believe I’m even saying this but I kinda miss it.” Luke replied.

 

“Calum?”

 

“Yes Michael?”

 

He got on one knee, “Will you do me the honour of being attached to my face for the rest of the night.”

 

“How about for the rest of our lives?”

 

They both earned a slap on their heads from Ashton and Luke and a mutter of “God you two are such dorks!”


	19. And I’ve Been Sitting at The Bottom of a Swimming Pool For a While Now Drowning My Thoughts Out With Sounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy Malum because why not. Enjoy :) Title from Young God by Halsey

A Few  Hours Later Michael's p.o.v.

“So what do you want to do now?’ They had been sitting on their double bed for fifteen minutes since they had finished making out. Calum was staring at me expectantly as if I were responsible for coming up with an idea of what to do next.

 

“I don’t know Cal.” I replied tucking my legs under the duvet, he followed suit sliding in his warm feet beside my cold ones. It always amazed me how Calum’s feet were always warm whereas mine resembled ice blocks.

 

“It’s because you don’t wear socks in bed.” Calum whispered.

 

“How di-.”

 

“I just knew you were thinking it.”

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“I’m exhausted; I might turn in.” He yawned sliding further into the bed. “Are you gonna join me?”

 

“In a bit, I’m just…I feel a little…I might just take a nice warm soak in the tub.” I slid out of the bed much to my boyfriend’s dismay.

 

“Come back soon okay Mikey, I miss you already.”

 

Within a few short minutes I can hear his gentle snoring. I look over at him in his blissed out sleepy state, he looks so relaxed, without a care or worry in the world. He looks so beautiful, the duvet covers pulled up under his chin, his arm wildly flung out beside him as if he were trying to cuddle my pillow, his dark hair was a mess but seemed to match him all the same, his tan skin was illuminated by the dim night-light, his lips were red from when we had been making out, his cheeks flushed, his dark eyelashes splayed out. _He looks like an angel, so peaceful, so loving, so gentle, so beautiful._ I wanted to march over to the bed, wrap him in my arms and never let him go. _He doesn’t deserve this hurt and pain, he’s too precious and kind and sweet._

 

I open both faucets and wait for the water to fill up the tub, which surprisingly is huge and deep, meaning that I can have a relaxing bath without my legs getting cramped from sitting in the tub. I peel off my clothes and test the waters with a toe, the water isn’t warm enough yet but nonetheless I climb in letting the suds settle over me. I close my eyes and think about the events of the past few days: I’d recently befriended a guy who I thought was cheating with my boyfriend, who happened to be my best friend’s crush and also the best friend of the guy my best friend was secretly seeing, the said best friend had a secret fling going on with one of the biggest players at university and didn’t know it and had nearly developed a drinking problem and had stopped eating. My boyfriend who I had thought was cheating on me turned out to be adopted by his childhood neighbours because he was running away from his bloodthirsty parents. I slink down into the tub until I’m on the very bottom. I close my eyes and picture summertime, lollipops, rainbows but it doesn’t seem to be working. Nothing seems to help me get my mind off the problem at hand. I still have no clue what we’re doing, are we going to outrun his parents? travel from place to place with no permanent address? was I ever going to see my parents again? And what about our first apartment together? I felt like everyday I was getting closer to losing pieces of myself and I couldn’t seem to get them back. I can feel my lungs struggling to get air in, my throat feels as if it were closing up, my vision is blurry, my nose is blocked and I feel like Im trapped underwater. I shoot up from the bottom and cough out all of the suds and water I’d swallowed down. I breathe heavily, greedily sucking in all the air I can get into my lungs. I cough once and then again and again until I feel like my throat is back to normal. I  rest my back against the tub and close my eyes, it feels like it’s been a long time when its just been me. Without having, Luke, Ash or Calum around me I feel a little bit lonely, the past few days we’ve been sharing so much space that being alone is eerie. Like something is going to pop out of nowhere and scare the shit out of me, and there will be no one around me to save me. It’s  a weird feeling, the bathroom feels a little too big, besides a sink with a mirror, a toilet and a bath with a shower-head included the room is empty. I feel like going home, back to the apartment where everything is familiar, where I can bundle up under the covers and pretend I’m in a cave in some other part of the world. Where my bed fits the mould of my body perfectly, where my pillow feels like a soft cloud, where my sheets smell like Calum.

 

I hear a tiny knock on the door, it’s almost too quiet as if the person on the other side accidentally hit whilst walking past. I blink my eyes open for a few seconds before giving up and sinking back into the tub, I put my legs up this time so I don’t sink to the bottom and I vaguely think that they should’ve told us that drowning in the tub was quite possible. Then I softly curse when I realise that they did, I was too preoccupied being attached to Calum’s face that I didn’t realise that I should’ve been listening a little more closely. I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder which develops into two hands rested upon my shoulders. I feel a squeeze on my right and then my left, I internally panic because what if it were a serial killer deciding that the pale young man in the bath has a nice neck that they’d like to wring. I shudder at the thought, my eyes are still firmly shut I don’t want to look into their eyes as they decide to kill me. Instead I’m greeted with a slightly annoyed yet teasing voice.

 

“Geez Mike can you stop tensing for like 5 minutes! I’m trying to give you a bloody massage!”

 

I open my eyes and turn around to see Calum in a fluffy white bathrobe. He’s trying to look pissed off at me for ruining his massage but he comes off looking as if he were an angry puppy.

 

 “I thought you were a murderer!” I squeal pushing myself forward,away from his hands.

 

 “As if!  your shoulders are so pale if a murderer walked in they’d probably think you were a ghost and run for the hills!” he shoots back laughing at me. I turn back and attempt to glare at him.

 

 Instead he takes my movement forward as an invitation, he nudges my back with his foot. I move forward a little bit more. He peels off his robe and hangs it on the door. Slowly easing himself into the tub behind me.

 

“What are you doing here?” I ask leaning back into him. His skin is still warm from the bed sheets and he smells like he always does a mixture of soap,deodorant and smoke its so familiar to me it reminds me of home. I know he'd been smoking but I refuse to acknowledge it, I know he's been stressed for the past few days. I'll let it slide this time.

 

“Couldn’t sleep.” He mutters taking my hands between his. His hands are so soft and comforting, they fit perfectly with my mine.

 

“Missed me huh?” I mumble back playing with his fingers, they’re so long and elegant the word _pretty_ comes to mind but I don’t say it out loud.

 

 “A little bit.” He agrees. “You really like my hands don’t you?” he asks.

 

“Mhmm.” I reply bringing up both our hands to kiss it. “It’s my favourite part of you.” 

 

“Hmm is that so?” He teases. “I could’ve swore it was somewhere more south.”

 

“Nope, your fingers are the only thing I like about you.”

 

“Ouch.” He fakes. “What about my dazzling smile, my charming wit, my golden heart, my beautiful eyes, my luscious locks, my hilarious sense of humour, my A+++ ass hmm?”

 

 “What about them?”

 

He extracts his fingers from mine and playfully shoves me. We sit in silence for a few minutes, he breaks the silence when his voice takes a serious tone “Are you okay Mikey?” 

 

I consider lying to him, but we’ve known each other for far too long for me to get away with it.

 

“There’s just been so much going on, so much to take in, from you and Ash and your biological parents and you, Luke and Noah, this whole trip.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry for pulling you guys into it.” He sounds so sad, so guilty. His eyes are red-rimmed as if he had been crying, but i rule out that possibility because i saw him sleeping before. _He must be extremely tired that's all._

 

“I’m not going anywhere, we're not going anywhere.” I insist moving closer to him so that our bodies are touching again.

 

“I love you, angel.” We don’t usually call each other pet names; it’s never been our thing. But the way he says it makes my heart jump a little. _I feel so loved and adored._

 

“I love you too, sugar pie.”

 

He reaches behind him to grab the bottle of shampoo, slowly squeezing some on to his hands and massaging it into my scalp. His hands feel so soft in my hair, so skilful as he navigates through my scalp, gently massaging it. I let out a low moan from how good it feels. When he’s done washing out my hair. I tell him to turn around,I massage the shampoo into his scalp. I blush when it suddenly strikes me how _domestic_ we are. Placing a kiss on his soft tan shoulder I smile, _this is what happiness feels like_. I’m still terrified at what’s left to come but for now I’m in the bath with the love of my life and there’s no place I’d rather be.


	20. Once I Had a Taste, I'm Addicted To Your Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update this is the Luke/Ash equivalent to the Mikey/Cal chapter before. The drama continues.This also is a background into Noah & Ash's previous friendship. Title from Safety Pin. Any Feedback is appreciated, Enjoy :)

Luke’s P.O.V.

“So you guys have known each other since childhood?” They were sitting on Ashton’s bed when Luke asked him. Ashton nodded at him before rifling through his bags trying to find something.

 

“We were really close when we were younger, his dad always scared me but I always thought it was because he was so tall. During high school Noah, Elise and I were inseparable, his dad thought that I was interested in Elise so he demanded that Noah ask her out before I did. Truth is I didn’t have feelings for her, we were more like brother and sister. When Noah asked her out things between the three of us cooled down a bit, we didn’t hang out as much like we had before. Soon we were hanging out with different people, we had biology together, he used to pass me notes and we’d arrange secret meetings in the library. I helped him study and he helped me with other things.”

 

“Other things?” Luke interrupts him.

 

Ashton blushes. “He provided me with financial aid for two years, it wasn’t a lot of money but enough to buy textbooks and stationery, when I got the job at the library café I saved up most of my money and was able to pay him back. He refused the money, telling me that I had repaid him by helping him with his homework and being friends with him despite the obvious difficulties with his father.”

 

“He’s a good guy then?”

 

“One of the best.”

 

“Why did he cheat on Elise?” Ashton shifted uncomfortably on the bed. He stayed silent for a few moments, Luke wanted to take back the question, it was dumb of him to ask.

 

“She knew about it, everyone did.” Ashton whispers.

 

“What do you mean?”

“Their relationship wasn’t exactly closed; they’d been dating a long time. Somewhere along the way they both decided they wanted to see other people. Noah knew if he told his father he was seeing multiple people he’d flip and the same applied to Elise’s family, so in order to keep up appearances they kept dating each other but also seeing other people. Elise was dating Jack and he went along with the plan because he was good friends with both of them. Noah never had a serious girlfriend just casual hook-ups, everyone knew that Elise and him weren’t actually together.”

 

“I didn’t know.” Luke slumped into the bed.

 

“He should’ve told you, it’s just that everyone already knew what was going on between them. So he assumed that you knew. When you saw the two of them together and freaked he realised that you didn’t know.”

 

“How do you know about that?”

 

“He called me early next morning asking me what he should do because he realised he was falling for someone. He said that the person he was starting to like didn’t know about Elise and him and that he was worried that he fucked everything up.”

 

“He called you?”

 

“Yeah I could barely make out a word, he was sobbing into the phone. He kept repeating that he’d lost this person forever.”

 

Luke remains quiet taking it all in.

 

“Did he ever mention me?”

 

“Only once by name, I didn’t realise it was you he was talking about.”

 

“But you realised today in the car?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They sit in silence for what feels like an eternity to Luke. Ashton breaks the silence by extending his hand to Luke.

 

“He really cares about you, you know.”

 

“He messaged me today.” Luke reveals pressing his palm against Ashton’s.

 

“What did he say?”

 

“He’s settled into the dorm nicely; he has good roommates. They’re a bit noisy but nonetheless very nice and funny.”

 

“What else did he say?” Ashton can tell Luke’s hiding something from him.

 

Luke focuses on playing with the duvet, ignoring Ashton’s question.

 

“Luke.”

 

 He waits a few minutes before replying “He says that he misses me and wishes that we could be together.”

 

“That sounds really sweet Luke.” Ashton nudges the boy’s shoulder playfully, but Luke shrugs in return.

 

“He probably sends that to everyone he’s hooked up with.” He spits bitterly.

 

Ashton is taken aback by Luke’s outburst; he wasn’t expecting Luke to be so affected by the series of recent events.

 

“He does not! Besides you’re one of the people who’ve met his parents. None of his other hook-ups have had that chance.”

 

“So you think i'm a hookup?”

 

“I didn’t say that! Look he really likes you I know he does. If he didn’t like you he wouldn’t be messaging you right now.”

 

“I trusted him Ash, he should’ve told me.”

 

“I know Luke, you don’t have to give him a second chance if you don’t want to. But tell me one thing.”

  
“What?”

 

“When you kissed him today, did you feel anything?”

 

“I can’t rely on that, what if he’s just saying all of these things so we can hook up again.”

 

“The decision is left up to you. I know I’ve been pushing you into giving him a second chance but that’s only because I know deep down he’s a good person, I just want you to be happy. Just know that whatever you do I’ll be by your side no matter what. Im always here for you, I promise.”

 

“Thanks Ash, you seem a little tired maybe you should rest.”

 

“Yeah I think I will Luke, are you going to sleep soon?”

 

“I might go talk to Mike for a little bit, but I think I just need to be by myself for a little bit.”

 

“Okay Lukey, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight.”

 

“Night Ash.” He shuts off the nightlight and makes his way into the corridor. He slumps against the wall and falls to his knees.

 

Luke sits there for a while staring at his phone screen at Noah’s messages, he didn’t tell Ashton about Noah asking him to move into the dorms with him so that they could get to know each other better, to pick things up from where they left off. He pulled out a flask from his pocket and took a swig each time he thought about Noah, about their time spent together, their late night dates, their shared jokes.He didn’t want things to get as bad as they did, he’d been drinking heavily for the past few weeks and he didn’t want to know the state of his liver at the moment. When he hears the opposite door opening he quickly glances up, his heart racing wondering if whoever is on the other side is going to tell him off for sitting in the foyer and drinking. He’s surprised when he sees Calum slipping out, resisting the urge to call out his name, Luke flattens himself against the wall camouflaging himself. Calum doesn’t seem to notice as he makes his way towards the balcony, between his fingers a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. At first Luke brushes it off, _maybe he’s getting rid of his excess cigarettes. Surely he isn’t going to smoke now._ Despite Calum standing on the balcony he can see a light flicker for a second then going out. Luke forgets that he is holding his drinking flask when he approaches the other man.

 

“You bastard!” He spits out as soon as he’s close enough to Calum.

 

If Calum is surprised by Luke’s arrival he doesn’t show it, instead he takes a long drag of his cigarette before blowing out the smoke. Then replies with “Hello to you too Lucas.”

 

“You promised Mike you wouldn’t smoke, you’re a liar!”

 

Calum stares at him and Luke falters for a second but stands his ground. _How can he do this to Michael!_

 

They continue staring at each other, Luke angry with Calum for breaking his promise and Calum calmly staring back at him, he takes another drag and blows out more smoke.

 

“It’s just been really stressful lately with everything that’s been going on. I’ve forced three of my closest friends to leave their lives behind for the sake of me, I don’t even know where were going or if we’ll be safe. We’re just running and running and I'm not sure what’s going to happen in the end.”

 

“I’m sorry, its just…I'm worried about you Cal, you can get serious health problems with those things. Its so bad for you, I don’t want to lose you and neither do Ash and Mike.”

 

“I know, but its not like you’re going down a healthy road either Luke.” He states pointing at his flask.

 

“I know, it’s just Noah stuff. I’ll figure it all out. What’s up with you?” he motions for the floor.

 

Calum nod and sits on the floor, Luke sitting right next to him.

 

“I got a text from my adoptive parents, they spoke to my biological parents. They want me to get married.” His voice softens a little.

 

Luke is confused for a second before he breaks out into a smile but it falls off his face when Calum shakes his head.

 

“They’ve set up an arranged marriage, they’re taking me back to my hometown to meet the girl. I managed to escape them once, but I don’t think I can do it again.” There are tears in his eyes and his hands are shaking, dropping cigarette ash everywhere.

 

“And your adoptive parents agree with them.”

 

“They don’t have a choice, legally my biological parents have control over me. If my adoptive parents don’t agree they face some pretty serious consequences.”

 

“But you’re an adult, don’t you get a say in this? What about Mikey?”

 

“My circumstances are special, my rights are controlled by my adoptive parents since they’ve chosen to take care of me, but my adoptive parents lose their powers over me if my biological parents come into the picture.

 

“Have you told Mike?”

 

“Not yet, I just want him to sleep well for tonight. He’s had so much to deal with over the past few days he needs to relax if only for one night.”

 

“Where is he now is he sleeping?”

 

“No he’s in the bath.”

 

“Maybe you should join him.” Luke suggests sadly smiling at Calum.

 

“Yeah.” Calum stubs out his cigarette and they attempt to get up. When he’s in front of his room door he turns to Luke and states “Call Noah.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He’s in love with you.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because your phone lit up like a 100 times during our little chat.”

 

Calum inserts his key into the door, turning back to say goodnight to Luke.

 

“Cal?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Stop smoking its bad for you.”

 

“Stop drinking its bad for you.” Calum retorts.

 

They smile at each other before hugging and calling it a night.

 

When Luke gets back into his shared room his phone lights up with a text, he expects its from Noah but is surprised its from Calum.

 

**“So are you going to call him?”**

 

**“First thing tomorrow, are you going to join Mikey in the bath ;)”**

 

 **“Yup getting into my robe right now.”** Calum fires back with a selfie of him in a robe.

 

Luke chuckles at the utter dorkiness of his best friend, he looks over at Ashton snoring softly and he smiles to himself, whatever else life was going to throw at them he knew that somehow they’d get through it.


	21. I've been thinking too much,Help me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Title from Ride by Twenty One Pilots. this is super short sorry

**Luke: Hey I know we left things off at a bad place yesterday. I’m sorry about not replying back...there’s a lot of stuff going at the moment.**

 

**Noah: Hey, it’s okay Luke I understand that. There’s a few things I need to work through as well.**

 

**Luke: I’m sorry your dad had to find out the way he did.**

 

**Noah: I think he always knew, he just didn’t want to acknowledge it. He’ll come around eventually.**

 

**Luke: You really think so?**

 

**Noah: I’d like him to but either way at least I’m out.**

 

**Luke: Ash was telling me about him last night.**

 

**Noah: Ash? As in Ashton Irwin?**

 

**Luke: No as in Ash Ketchum.**

 

**Noah: The Pokemon dude?**

 

**Luke: Obviously Ashton Irwin.**

 

**Noah: Well sorrry Lucifer I thought we were having a proper conversation.**

 

**Luke: A proper conversation? You haven’t asked me how I am, what I’m up to.**

 

**Noah: As if I care about those things.**

 

**Luke: You don’t care about me?**

 

**Noah: Nope.**

 

**Luke: That wasn’t what you were saying 2 weeks ago.**

 

**Noah: Well its not like you’re putting out right now.**

 

**Luke: Who says I'm not putting out?**

 

**Noah: Okay I’ll play.**

 

**Luke: Play with what?**

 

**Noah: You’re actually 5.**

 

**Luke: Ew you’re 5.**

 

**Noah: You’re the immature one.**

 

**Luke: No you are!**

 

**Noah: Nu-uhh.**

 

**Luke: Uhh-huh.**

 

**Noah: Can we move past this?**

 

**Luke: K**

 

**Noah: So what are you wearing?**

 

**Luke: Wouldn’t you like to know?**

 

**Noah: That’s why I'm asking.**

 

**Luke: I hate you.**

 

**Noah: *love.**

 

**Luke:**hate.**

 

**Noah: Whatever… what did Ash tell you?**

 

**Luke: He was telling me about how your dad didn’t want you guys to be friends because he thought that Ash had a crush on Elise**

 

**Noah: Hmm.**

 

**Luke: Hmm?**

 

**Noah: That wasn’t the reason he wanted Ash to stay away from me…**

 

**Luke: That’s what he told me.**

 

**Noah: Okay.**

 

**Luke: What was the actual reason?**

 

**Noah: It’s not my place to say.**

 

**Luke: Fine I’ll ask Ash myself.**

 

**Noah: Luke no!**

 

**Luke: Why not?**

 

**Noah: There’s something I need to tell you.**

 

**Luke: About Ash?**

 

**Noah: Sorta.**

 

**.Luke: It can wait, I'm just gonna ask Ash about this.**

 

**Noah: Luke no don’t ask him about it.**

 

**Noah: Luke! Don’t!**

 

“Hey Ash?” Luke turned towards the brown haired boy.

 

“What’s up Luke?” he sleepily mumbled back.

 

“I was talking to Noah…” he trailed off.

 

“Oh i'm glad you guys are talking again, he’s a good guy.”

 

“He said that there was another reason why his dad didn’t like you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Yesterday you said Mr Evans didn’t like you because he thought you had a crush on Elise?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“But Noah said it wasn’t because you were interested in Elise.”

 

Ashton locked eyes with Luke slowly turning red. “Well…” he began but was cut off by Luke’s phone ringing.

 

“It’s Noah.”

“Are you going to answer it?’

 

“Oh yeah.” He looked at it for a few more seconds before he accepted the call.

 

“Please tell me you didn’t ask him.“ came Noah’s voice from the other end of the line.

 

“Good morning and nice to hear your voice too.”

 

“Luke I'm being serious you can’t ask him.”

 

“I already did.”

 

“And he told you? I'm so sorry Luke.”

 

“Wait why are you sorry? Ash hasn’t answered me yet. Wait a second let me put it on speaker so you can talk to him too.”

 

“No Luke!” but it was too late Luke had already turned the feature on.

 

"Hey Noah." Ashton greeted sleepily from the bed, rising slowly to rest his back against the headrest.

 

"Hey Ash, long time since we've talked."

 

"Yeah its been...i've been busy."

 

"Me too."

 

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on.” Luke blurted ending their mini chat.

 

“I have a crush on you.” blurted Ashton instantly turning tomato red. 

 

“What?’ Noah and Luke screeched in unison.

 

“You weren’t referring to my crush on Luke?’ Ashton stutters.

 

“You have a crush on me?” Luke asked as Noah replied with “No I was talking about your crush on me that my dad found out about.”

 

“You have a crush on Noah?”  Luke is staring at Ashton now,willing him to answer. Noah remains silent on the other end of the line.

 

“Which one of us is it?” Luke is almost face to face with him, his phone between the two of them acting as a barrier.

 

Ashton stares back at him, his answer apparent in his expression.

 

"How long?" Luke barks out at him. He's moved away from Ashton now,almost at the very edge of the bed.

 

"6 months."He replies sheepishly.

 

"6 MONTHS!?"

 

Ashton doesn't reply instead looking down at the bedspread but the movement is enough for Luke. He throws his phone on the bed and slams the door behind him ignoring the sounds of Ashton and Noah calling out to him.

 

“Luke? Are you there?" Noah tries a final time.

 

“He’s gone.” Ashton replies collapsing back into the bed.

 

"6 months Ash, why didn't you tell me?" Noah asks over the phone. Ashton doesn't reply, instead choosing to plant his face into the pillow. _I've fucked everything up_

 


	22. I know, you'll say I'm not doing it right But this is how I want it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Title from Diplomats Son by Vampire Weekend. Any feedback welcome, Enjoy :)

Luke’s phone started ringing again startling Ashton who jumped a foot off the bed before realising where the sound was coming from. He let it ring out a couple of times before answering it, already knowing who was on the other line.

 

“He hasn’t come back Noah.”

 

“And you didn’t go looking for him?”

 

“He needs some time alone to think things through, he’ll come back when he’s ready to talk.”

 

“Ash, why didn’t you tell him?”

 

“Because he’s still in love with you.”

 

“He loves you too.”

 

“It’s different, he-“

 

“He loves you too.”

 

“You can’t know that for sure.”

 

“A few weeks after we met, he drunk dialled me one night and asked if he could home. I didn’t think anything of it because he occasionally spends some nights with me and then leaves early in the morning, so I told him to come over. He took a really long time to get to my house and I ended up falling asleep, so he snuck into my bed smelling of cheap beer and woke me up.”

 

Flashback: Noah’s P.O.V.

“NOAH!” Luke screeched before he collapsed on to my bed.

 

“Keep it down my parents are asleep.” I kicked him from under the sheets.

 

“Your mum’s not.”

 

“Are you making a your mum joke because people outgrew those years ago.”

 

“Who did you think let me in?” He beamed at me crawling next to me and ducking under the covers.

 

“You woke up my mum?”

 

“You weren’t answering your phone,besides she loves me.”

 

“No shit its like 2am, I wasn’t going to stay up for you dumbass.”

 

 “Yeah yeah whatever, I have something I need to tell you!”

 

“Yeah what?”

 

“I met someone.”

 

“You met someone? Are you breaking up with me?” I make an attempt at a joke sensing his nervousness.

 

“We aren’t even dating.”

 

“I knew there was something I was forgetting, Luke will you go out with me?”

 

 He hit me with a pillow at me before adding “Can you be serious for a second?”

 

“Me be serious? you just hit me with a pillow!” I turned to face him deliberately pouting.

 

“Im just going to tell you even though you probably don’t care.” His blue eyes illuminated by the night light were focused on me. He looked so serious I almost felt bad for joking around. I was only trying to make him feel more comfortable.

 

“I do care.”

 

“Do you?” 

 

“Of course I do!”

 

“Okay, remember how I told you I couldn’t hang out with you tonight because I was having drinks with my uni friends?” he stuttered glancing at me and then looking away. Red signals were going off in my head but I ignored them focusing on what he was saying.

 

“Yeah.” I reached out for his hand underneath the sheet and squeezed it softly until he met my eyes again.

 

“So they didn’t end up showing.” He bit his lip nervously. 

 

“You should’ve called me I would’ve come and picked you up.”  _I should called him earlier to find out how things were going._

 

“So you could hook up with me?”  _wait what?_

 

“You don’t seriously think that I would’ve invited you over just so we could hook up.” _Where was he going with this? Did he really think I was using him as a fuckbuddy? Was I being an ass and not realising it?_

 

There was silence from Luke’s side of the bed, his eyes were closed and his breathing slow and steady. I released his hand and turned over to my side of the bed. _He did. I was._

 

“I’m sorry its…it’s just that you’ve never met any of my friends and we’ve been doing whatever this is for some time now, it just feels like you don’t take me seriously. I feel like a toy that you use whenever you’re bored.” He whispered reaching across my body to hold my hand again.  _Shit shit shit._

 

“You don’t have to apologise to me, I’ve been a huge asshole recently. I should’ve met your friends a long time ago I’m sorry that I keep putting it off. You’re important to me Luke, more than you know. My actions are my own and I take full responsibility for everything I’ve done, I know that isn’t much of an apology but please give me a chance to make it up to you whatever you want. I can’t lose you, I'm so sorry.” _I fucked up. I fucked up so badly._

 

“I don’t know what to say.” He pulled me closer to his chest, his face buried in my hair. "I just...I don't want to lose you either."

 

“Tell me about your night, you said you met someone?” I changed the subject not wanting to push my chances.

 

 “Yeah! Actually I’ve had a crush on him for ages but I think I fell for him a little more.” And just like that it was back to our normal conversation as if nothing I hadn't acted like a complete cock for the past few weeks.

 

“Hmm, how come? What did he do, get down on one knee and propose to suck your dick?” another lame attempt at a joke, trying to dissipate any remaining tension in the room.

 

“I wish!” his laughter echoed around the room and I felt myself smile at how something as simple as his laugh made me feel so happy.

 

I tapped his arm, signalling him to let go of me. Then turning to face him, I buried my head into his collar bone. “What does he look like?” it was muffled but we were pressed so close together he heard me. 

 

“Like a real life angel, his hair is honey blonde and curly. His eyes are so bewitching, they’re this greenish-brown colour and oh my gosh Noah he has the deepest dimples in the world. He’s so gorgeous and muscular,but that’s not all he has the gentlest soul, he’s so kind and wonderful, he’s intelligent and honestly words are failing me, maybe when I'm sober I’ll be able to tell you more about him.

 

“Where did you meet him?”

 

“He was the drummer in the band, but he sings too. He introduced the band actually and he was joking around with the crowd, he has the most supercalifragilisticexpialidocious laughter.”

 

“Trust you to use big words when you’re drunk.”

 

“I’ll tell you more about him later but I'm so tired right now and you and your bed are so warm its perfect really.” 

 

“Promise?”

 

“Pinky Promise!” _He was adorable when he was drunk and sleepy._

 

“Before you fall asleep, what’s his name?”

 

“Ashton, Ashton Irwin.” With that he pulled me closer to his chest and nodded off. I felt my chest tighten, Ashton Irwin. I hadn't heard that name in years. 

 

“Luke, there’s something I need to tell you. Lukey?” but he was already fast asleep. Sighing I pulled the covers over us and snuggled into him promising myself that I would tell him tomorrow.

 

Present Day

"He saw me play live? He really said that? Why didn't you tell him? What about you, he has feelings for you I know he does!"

 

"Yeah, he's had a crush on you for god knows how long. I couldn't tell him about you, it would've ruined him. Ash you need to go and find him and please tell him how sorry I am, for everything." With that Noah ended the call leaving Ashton with more questions. He needed to find Luke.


	23. So I heard you're out here looking for me, and I wanna know if it's true If you've been looking for love, then I've been looking for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash looks for Luke. A teensy bit of non-graphic violence but lots of kissing. Enjoy :) Title from Superlove from Tinashe

Ashton knocked on Michael and Calum’s room door hoping that they weren't sleeping or worse, having sex as he just wanted to find out if they knew where Luke was.

 

Ashton's P.O.V.

Michael opened the door in his pyjamas, his hair messy from waking up a few hours ago and being too lazy to do anything about it.

 

“Where’s Calum?” I ask noting that Calum isn’t currently joint to his hip.

 

“Said he needed to clear his head so he went for a run.”

 

“Do you know where Luke is?”

 

“Yeah he came in a few minutes ago bawling his eyes out. The most I got out of him was that he talked to Noah.”

 

“Can I see him?”

 

“Yeah sure one thing though. If you break his heart Ash I won’t hesitate to rip you apart piece by piece.” He glared at me for effect.

 

“Duly noted.” I reply sliding past him making my way to where Luke was hiding under the covers.

 

“I heard they have a sauna, I'm going to check it out.” Michael called out leaving us alone.

 

“Six months Ash?” Luke finally offers moving his feet towards his chest as if he were huddling.

 

“I know I'm sorry I should've told you earlier but how could I? You were either with Mikey and Cal or sneaking around with Noah.”

 

“We really thought we were being secretive.”

 

“You guys were always together in the library.”

 

“Yeah because that place was only busy during exam times.”

 

“You guys used to hook up in the copy room”

 

“That was one time!”

 

“I think you’re forgetting that night a few months ago when you snuck in for a late night cram sesh and you ended up being pinned to the wall with Noah attached to your neck.”

 

“You saw that!?”

 

“I was borrowing books for supplementary reading and there you two were going at it like bunnies.”

 

“In our defence we hadn't got much alone time together in ages, his parents were having an anniversary dinner with five other couples and Calum was dyeing Mike’s hair.”

 

“You really like him don’t you?”

 

“I like you too, I always have.”

 

“He told me about you coming to watch me play and gushing nonstop about me.”

 

“You’re such a wonderful drummer, your singing is so beautiful and your stage presence is out of the world. People love your infectious energy.” Luke beamed moving closer to Ashton.

 

“It means a lot to me that you came and you think so highly of me.”

 

“It was wonderful, I'm just kicking myself for not having the guts to do it sooner.”

 

“I really am sorry for not telling you sooner.”

 

“Do you still like him?”

 

Before Ashton could answer there was a knock on the door. Luke kicks my  foot signalling that I should go and open the door,I scowl at him as I head towards the door.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” are the first words I say when I see the person on the other side of the door.

 

“Ash who is it?” Luke calls out from the bed, I turn to look at him nestled underneath several pillows and the duvet hiked up to his chin. He looks so innocent and fragile. I raise a finger at him signalling for him to stay in bed as I push the figure away from the door and shut it lightly behind me.

 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

 

“I wanted to make sure you and Luke were okay.”

 

“How did you find us?”

 

“Luke messaged me this morning.” _of course he did Luke was still too trusting of people._

 

“You can come inside but don’t expect the same hospitality from Mike.”

 

As soon as Luke spotted Noah he jumped off the bed and into his arms.

 

“Babe!” Noah cooed squeezing Luke.

 

Luke reacted by kissing him full on the mouth.

 

“I didn’t realise you two were still dating.” They pull apart chuckling.

 

“We’re not, Noah and I just wanted to freak you out.”

 

“Very funny, Mike’s gonna freak when he sees him here.”

 

“Uh before Mike  and Cal get back I wanted to try something.” Luke mumbles looking between the two of us.

 

We shoot each other glances trying to figure out what Luke wants us to try.

 

Noah shrugs his shoulders as he plops down on the bed next to Luke. They both stare up at me willing me to come over. I eventually cave coming to sit next to Luke.

 

“So.” Luke begins “When you guys were younger didyoueverkisseachother?” he rushes hiding his face under the duvet in embarrassment.

 

“What?”

 

He says it slower this time “Did you guys ever make out, when you were younger?”

 

“Once.”

 

“When?” comes the excited reply.

 

“9th grade, for truth or dare.”

 

“People dared you two to kiss each other?”

 

“Well...it was after truth or dare.”

 

“We were invited for Alex’s birthday party, it was meant to be a sleepover but Ashton’s mum didn't want him staying the night and I didn’t want to stay with the others so we walked to Ash’s house. His brother and sister were at camp and his mum was working a double shift.”

 

“After ordering pizza with the money mum left us, we were watching a scary movie on tv and the couple were sucking face. And I turned to Noah and asked him if he’d ever kissed anyone before. Even though he was my best friend we’d never really discussed it before.”

 

“I told him that I hadn’t and asked him if he’d kissed anyone before.”

 

“I told him that no one wanted to kiss me because I was too dorky.”

 

“Yeah and I told you that people sucked, that your first kiss should be with someone special, someone who cared about you,who made your heart race. When your lips touch theirs even if just brushing across it makes you feel as if you’re floating. That it should be such a wonderful feeling that you don’t want to ever let their lips leave yours.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“The tv randomly shut off, though I think Ash just sat on it by accident.”

 

“We both got scared and jumped towards each other, our lips ended up being pushed together.Noah took it from there, he got a little too eager chasing the kiss and ended up pushing me further into the couch. My back somehow managed to turn the tv on and we jumped apart, red lipped and pink cheeked.”

 

“And you stopped talking after that?”

 

“No. We ended up cuddling in bed that night, although when Ash’s mum found us the next morning when she came up to call us for breakfast, we’d just told her we had watched a horror movie and we were too scared to sleep apart.”

 

“Mum is a natural bullshit detector, she just smiled at us and told us to get dressed.”

 

“That’s a pretty good story for a first kiss.”

 

“It was a pretty good first kiss.”

 

“So you think Ash is a good kisser?”

 

“Haven’t had a kiss like that since i’ve met you.”

 

“Ash, kiss me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Do it!”

 

“Is this what you had in mind when said you wanted to try something?”

 

“Part of it.”

 

“Okay.”

 

I lean forward and cup his face, bringing it closer to mine. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I whisper unsure whether he wants to go through with this or not.

 

Luke nods and connects their lips, first gently pressing together then agonisingly slowly pushed his tongue against his lips asking for permission. He sighs into the kiss as the other boy’s tongue explores my mouth. I pull him into my lap, my hands slowly rubbing circles into his back. Luke slowly pulls away, cheeks flushed and his blue eyes sparkling.

 

“That. Was. Amazing.”

 

“Told you he was a good kisser!”

 

“You two should kiss!” _Sometimes Luke acted like a small child._

 

“Ash?”

 

“Well it has been a few years and it wouldn’t hurt right?”

 

“C’mere.” Noah pats a spot next to him, but I walk right up to him and perch myself on his lap.

 

Grabbing his face I smash our lips together not missing a beat. He instantly reciprocates, swirling his tongue in my mouth.We stay like that for a whole seven minutes without stopping for air. Luke’s staring at the both of us as if he’d won the lottery, that is until he feels Noah reach for his right hand, Whilst I reach for his left. Noah pulls away first and kisses Luke, who squeezes my hand. They pull apart a few minutes later and Luke connects his lips to mine.

 

We pull apart when there’s a screech coming from the front door of the room.

 

”What the fuck!?” Michael stands at the foot of the bed glaring down on us.

 

“Mike I can explain.” Luke begins but stops midway when Michael practically manhandles Noah off the bed.

 

“So you’re Noah.” is the only thing he says while he sizes the boy up.

 

“You must be Michael,nice to finally meet you?”

 

Michael smiles at him before punching him in the stomach. “That’s for Luke.”

 

He clutches his stomach in pain, Michael grabs his arm and leads him back to the bed to where Luke and I are staring at him like two goldfish.

 

“I guess I deserved that.” Noah admits lying back against the pillows.

 

“So are you guys dating?”

 

They share a look before replying in unison “Yeah.”

 

“I’m going to take a shower, you better not be having a threesome when I get back.” Michael jokes.

 

“Where were we?” Luke chuckles as he makes his way over to Noah to kiss him.

 

They get a few more minutes of quality alone time before Calum enters the room and peels Noah away from his two best friends.

 

Noah attempts to run away from Calum, after having to deal with Michael he’s really starting to reconsider meeting his boyfriends’ best friends.

 

“Calum’s harmless.” I pipe up but before he can finish his sentence Calum has already tackled Noah to the ground despite being a few centimetres shorter than him.

 

“Uh maybe not.” Luke adds. Neither of us get off the bed, still in shock over Calum sitting on top of their boyfriend.

 

Calum gets in a few good punches, before he’s distracted by Michael emerging from the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. He stares for a good minute at his boyfriend, before getting back to the task at hand.

 

“Are the two of you going to do anything to help your boyfriend?” Michael smirks at us waiting oh so patiently for the coin to drop.

 

It's a good five seconds before it clicks “Boyfriend?” Calum mumbles.

 

“Who’s boyfriend?”

 

“Ours.” I squeaks out.

 

“Oh.” He gets up from on top of Noah and helps him to his feet.

 

“Luke said you were the least violent.” He stammers very confused at being attacked.

 

“Uh well I usually am. But you really hurt Luke,man that’s so fucked up.”

 

“Cal wanna help me choose some clothes to wear?” Mike suggests from across the room.

 

“Sure thing babe.” he sing songs before bounding across the room into Michael’s arms.

 

“Eww you’re wet!”

 

“That’s usually what happens when you’re around me.” Michael winks before dragging Calum into the bathroom.

 

“Are they always like that?”

 

“Always.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	24. No I Don't Wanna Be With Anybody Else But You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from Bitter Winter by San Cisco

Next Morning

Calum wakes up earlier than Michael and sits up in their shared bed wondering how long he can wait before telling Michael the truth. He promised Luke that he’d tell Michael after breakfast yesterday but he never got around to it. When he tried again during lunch he couldn’t find the right words to say, he disappeared for a few hours before reuniting with Michael again but they were interrupted by Noah’s sudden appearance and the news of Luke, Noah and Ashton’s relationship. When he tried again after dinner Michael had declared he was too tired from the day’s events and had fallen fast asleep, leaving Calum to wonder if he’d ever be able to tell Michael.

 

Slowly sliding out of the bed, trying not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend, he lightly padded towards the bathroom and ran the bath, allowing the soapy suds to settle in before he made his entrance. Leaning against the tub he closed his eyes and let his shoulders relax before tensing up when he felt strong palms on his shoulders. He let out a small squeak before turning around to gaze into Michael’s green eyes.

 

“Hey.” He simply said smiling down at Calum.

 

“Hey you, why didn’t you sleep in?”

 

“Can’t sleep without you by my side.”

 

“That’s so cheesy.”

 

“You love it.” He teased back, massaging his shoulders.

 

They continued in silence for a little bit longer until Michael cut in “So what’s wrong?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I can tell that there’s something wrong, usually you avoid me and then get mad over something silly I’ve said or done. So let’s just skip that and you can just tell me.”

 

“I got a message from my adoptive parents, my biological parents want me to get married.”

 

“When?”

 

“Soon.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

“I haven’t finished university; I don’t have enough money to support myself never mind another person, I have to get a better job."

 

“Have they already set it up?”

 

“They have someone in mind, they want me to meet her.”

 

“So let’s do it!”

 

“What?”

 

“If your parents really want you to get married to this person you should at least meet her first.”

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

“I have a plan.”

 

“One that will get my parents off my back?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“My parents are dangerous people, what if it’s a trap and they try to kill me or something?”

 

“It’s going to be okay, we’ll set the meeting up in a public place and we’ll have lots of witnesses. We have Luke and Ash, not to mention their new boyfriend Noah, your soon-to-not be wife and heaps of other people.”

 

“We?”

 

“There’s no way you’re meeting them alone.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“You’ve mentioned that before.” smirked Michael.

 

“Say it back shithead.”

 

“Nope.”

 

Calum splashed Michael resulting in the older boy pulling him out of the tub and heaving him over his shoulder and dumping him on the bed.

 

“That’s going to leave a stain!” Calum chuckled shifting his position so he was more comfortable on the bed.

 

“That wasn’t what you were saying last night.” He replied crawling on top of his boyfriend.

 

“I would’ve if you weren’t trying to find out what I would’ve sounded like with your co-“

 

Michael stopped him mid-sentence by attacking his neck making him abandon his former thought.

 

A half hour later Michael had drifted off to sleep with his arm curled around Calum's body, his head resting on top of his chest. 

"I don't want to be with anyone else but you, you already make me the happiest I've ever been, a life without you is a life I don't want to live." he mumbled lightly kissing his chest trying not to wake him.

 

"You're like mozzarella cheese." Michael whispered back.

 

"Because I'm cheesier than you?"

 

"Nope, I just really love mozzarella cheese."

 

"More than me?"

 

"I don't think I could love anything more than you."

 

"You're such a sap."

 

"Only for you."

 


	25. We were just wasting time, and now days go by

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V angsty. Title from Days by The Drums

3 weeks later in the night -Calum’s pov 

"You want us to do what?” Luke bursts into their room waving his phone manically. Calum stares at him for a few seconds before it finally clicks. _Fucking Michael_.

 

“You didn’t even knock!” Noah scolds as he comes to stand beside his boyfriend. He’s focused entirely on Luke that he doesn’t even notice when Michael slinks past them wearing nothing but boxers. Luke as if by instinct shoves a shirt in his direction and glares at him.

 

“What did you ask them to do Mike?” comes Calum’s exhausted voice. Luke softens a little bit handing his phone for Calum to see.

 

“I agree with Mike.” He simply states handing back the phone.

 

“After all we’ve been through!” he roars “and you want us to go back home!”

 

Calum stares blankly at him unsure what to say but Michael notices his hesitation and jumps in.

 

“It’s not that simple.”

 

“Explain it to me then.” He jumps onto their bed and blinks up at Michael challenging him.

 

Noah stands at the foot of the bed unsure whether to stay or go. One the one hand he was curious about the situation and he wanted to show his support for Luke but on the other hand he really should’ve stayed in their room and took care of Ashton. He chooses the latter, kissing Luke’s forehead before he leaves.

 

“Are you going to explain?” snaps Luke and Calum is a little taken aback at Luke’s demeanour. He seems so aggravated all of a sudden and Calum wants to get to the bottom of it.

 

“I…we think it would be for the best.”

 

He scoffs at that “You guys don’t have to do this alone. We’ll think of something; we’ll get you out of this situation. You know we’ll do anything for you Cal.” Its almost as if he’s pleading with him.

 

“I know Lu. That’s why we need to go back. We’re going to face them.”

 

“What do you mean we’re going to face them, I thought you wanted to avoid them at all costs, aren’t they dangerous?”

 

“I think they just want to get closer to me so they can control me. The person they want me to marry is rich and powerful, if I go through with this union it will give them more power, not only over me but over everyone else who comes in their way.”

 

“So that’s why they’re so interested in you all of sudden, they want to marry you for status and wealth?” he looks more aggravated now, his fists clenched around the bedspread. Calum reaches out and rubs his hand across his hand trying to calm him down. 

 

"We think that’s their plan, we’ve agreed to meet with them soon.”

 

Michael comes to sit next to Luke and wraps his arm around the other’s shoulder. “But what about…”

 

“I have a plan, but we need to go back home, all of us. But we need your help, specifically Noah’s.”

 

“What’s Noah got to do with this?” His gaze flickers from Calum to Michael fervently.

 

“It’s not going to be easy for him.” Calum confesses puling Luke’s hand into his own.

 

“Wh..what does he have to do?” he nervously asks.

 

Calum and Michael share a look between them wondering whether or not to tell Luke. His gaze flickers between them trying to decipher their silent conversation.

 

“Does he know?” he demands a few minutes later when no one answers his initial question.

 

Michael shrugs and looks over to Calum who has his knees up to his chest and is rocking back and forth. There’s a few tears falling freely from his face and he doesn’t stop to wipe them off, instead letting them fall onto his shirt.

 

Luke looks at him helplessly unsure whether to comfort him or not, he still doesn’t know what the next task requires. He slowly walks out of the room to his own, he’s conflicted over protecting one of his best friends or ensuring the happiness of his boyfriend. He silently enters their room, all of the lights save for the bedside lamp are turned off. He notices the two familiar shapes cuddled together in bed looking so peaceful and for a moment he reconsiders his actions. He wants to let them sleep but he’s conflicted because he desperately wants to know what he’s dealing with; he wants to be prepared for whatever happens. _Maybe I’ll ask him tomorrow_.

 

He slides into the bed fully clothed staring up at the roof, thinking of the different situations that could unfold over the next few days. He’s about to doze off when a quiet whisper catches his attention.

 

“What are you thinking about?” _If you’re more important to me than my friends_ is what he wants to say but he just sighs into the semi-darkness. Noah senses his hesitation and turns to look at him, there’s tear tracks running down his face and all he wants to do is pull him closer and tell him everything’s going to be okay but he doesn’t know that for sure. He settles for entangling their fingers together. But that seems to set him off further as his cries get a little louder.

 

“Shh it’s gonna be okay.” He caves, he just feels so helpless when it comes to Luke he doesn’t know what to say or how to make him feel better.

 

“Yes..yes I know Ash is sleeping I shouldn’t disturb him.” Luke whispers back forcefully drying his face with his shirt.

 

“No it’s not that... hey come on let’s go outside huh.” He gets a silent nod in response and he knows that it’s just going to have to do. He spares a glance at Ashton before lightly shutting the door. He wonders what the other man is dreaming about since he looks so peaceful sleeping on the bed.

 

When he finally gets to the terrace area it’s very dark outside and he can barely recognise the crouched figure sitting a short distance away. He sits crouched in the corner shaking, something bright sitting between his fingers. Noah rushes to him quickly wanting to comfort him but stops a few steps before him.

 

“I...I didn’t know you smoked.” He stammers shocked.

 

He takes a drag before making eye contact and he hates when he does because Noah looks so disappointed in him. He goes to stub out the cigarette but Noah surprises him when he comes to sit next to him and takes the cigarette out his hand. He doesn’t take a drag, he just sits there with the offending object in his hand and stares at it. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Luke finally has the courage to talk to him.

 

“I don’t smoke, I nicked Calum’s pack. I didn’t want him smoking anymore.”

 

“You took it away from him so you could smoke?” he sounds confused at Luke’s logic, why would he steal cigarettes when he just stated that he didn’t smoke.

 

“I thought it would help with this whole situation, y’know calm me down or whatever.” He mumbles his voice a little choked up.

 

Noah doesn’t reply instead focusing on the glowing end of the cigarette which seems to be burning out really quickly, ash piling up on the ground.

 

“What do they want you to do?” It takes him by surprise because he was expecting the conversation to go in a different route. In fact he was expecting a conversation about an entirely different topic.

 

“They want me to talk to my father.” “Isn’t that dangerous, the last time we saw him he attacked the both of us.”

 

“He’s probably cooled down from that, its nearly been a month.”

 

“I don’t want you to be put in any danger at all, I can’t lose you.”

 

“About that..” he trails off.

 

Luke continues “Why do they need you to talk to your father?”

 

“Michael has a plan on how to get rid of Calum’s parents, but in order to do so he needs my father’s help. He’s rich and powerful with richer and more powerful friends, in order for this to work we need to strike up a deal.”

 

“You never did tell me what your father did for a living.”

 

“It’s classified; I wish I could tell you.”

 

“You can’t tell your boyfriend what job your father has?” there’s an edge to his tone and Noah doesn’t miss it.

 

“About that…” he trails off again, he focuses on his feet, anything to take his mind off the boy beside him.

 

Before Luke can reply, they hear footsteps approaching. A small pinprick of light settles on them as they see a figure in white approaching them. Luke tries to scream but his voice is stuck in his throat and Noah was shaking like a leaf beside him. He grabs his hand tight as they wait for the slow approaching figure. As they come nearer, Luke lets out a sigh of relief and releases Noah’s hand.

 

“For fucks sake Ash you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Luke shrieks.

 

Ashton manages a small croaky chuckle before settling himself between Luke and Noah and extending the doona to cover all three of them. He rests his head on Luke’s arm, smiling sleepily at Noah.

 

“I noticed the two of you weren’t in bed…figured you’d be up here.” He mumbles snuggling into the doona. Luke doesn’t say anything just stares directly at Noah willing him to talk. Noah continues to stare at his feet not wanting to continue the dreaded conversation. They stay there for a few minutes before Ashton ever the mediator finally points out the growing silence between them.

 

“Noah has something to say to us.” Luke spits out, his gaze firmly trained on Noah. Ashton sits up and looks at both of them, wondering what the hell he just walked into.

 

“Whatever you two are fighting about can wait until tomorrow. We can discuss this in the morning okay?”

 

“Just spit it out!” Luke yells at Noah, Ashton jumps up at that shocked by Luke’s tone.

 

“Luke there’s no need to yell at him. It’s really late and we’re all really tired, we can discuss this tomorrow.” He tries once again to alleviate the situation. It stops Luke from shouting at the other man but not the dirty glares thrown at him.

“I think we’re moving too fast.” He whispers and both of their eyes bore into him.

 

Luke breaks contact first, he pushes the doona off him and reaches inside his pocket for the cigarette and lighter. His hands shake as he tries to light the cigarette after a few failed attempts he finally sets it alight. He sits there staring at the opposite wall, there are tears running down his face and this time he doesn’t bother to wipe them away, just lets them flow until his eyes are puffy. Ashton’s mouth is wide open in shock, Noah refuses to make eye contact with either of them. The three of them just sit there not saying anything to each other, the only sound is of Luke taking drags and blowing them out.

 

“It’s only been a few weeks” Ashton states.

 

“I’m just not ready.”

 

“Don’t you think this needs to be discussed, amongst the three of us?”

 

“If he wants to leave let him.” Luke bitterly replies.

 

“Look I’m sorry-“ Luke cuts him off mid-sentence

 

“Save your fucking apologies for someone who gives a shit. I don’t care, you can fuck off the face of this planet and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, so do what you always do leave!”

 

Both of them are too stunned to even reply, he takes a final drag before extinguishing the butt. He doesn’t even glance back as he marches away from them.

 

“So you’re breaking up with the both of us?”

 

“We were never official to begin with.”

 

“What are you so scared of?”

 

“Everything.”

 

“I know you care about him, so why are you doing this to him? To us?”

 

“It scares me how much you guys love each other, I can’t see myself making the two of you happy and you two deserve to be happy. I just… I can’t give you that.”

 

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t convince you to be in a relationship with us. I can’t make that decision for you, you’ve made your decision and I don’t agree with it. But at the end of the day you know what’s best for you and as much as I hate it, because trust me I hate it so much I can’t put you in that position. It wouldn’t be right and it wouldn’t be fair. I want what’s best for you even if it doesn’t involve me.”

 

“I’m really sorry Ash.”

 

“There’s nothing you can do; you’ve made your decision. I’m scared Noah.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know if he’s going to get through this.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“The last time this happened he was a complete wreck. He said that he told you what happened.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Luke didn’t tell me anything. He came over one night and I was hanging out with Elise, I didn’t tell him about the whole pretend girlfriend situation and he got mad. He stopped replying to my texts, returning calls, and skipped all our study sessions. When he came over a few weeks ago it was because I sent him a message telling him I still had feelings for him. He came over to my house to tell me that something had come up with one of his friends and that he needed to leave, I kept pressuring him to tell me and he did.”

 

“He was drinking alcohol like water and regularly skipping meals. He failed most of his exams because he couldn’t concentrate, he started chain smoking and stopped sleeping. He couldn’t cope after what happened. Michael tried to talk to him and find out what happened but it took a lot of coaxing for him to open up.”

 

“I didn’t realise I was such a big influence, I’ve been too selfish, I didn’t realise how badly that affected him. He never got back to me so I assumed he’d gotten over me, that he’d moved on that he was happier. I assumed that he didn’t have feelings for me, but I should’ve known.”

 

“It’s getting late, we should probably head to bed.” Ashton yawns getting up from the ground and extending his hand to the other man.

 

“I didn’t want to hurt him so badly Ash, I just want him to be happy and I can’t give that to him. I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve him.”

 

When they reached their room a note was taped to their door in Luke’s messy scrawl stating that he was sleeping in Michael and Calum’s room for however long Noah was staying with the group. When they entered the room, the bed was tidied with all their clothes neatly folded on a chair.

 

“I don’t think he’s going to forgive you this time. He was way too calm whilst doing all of this.”

 

Noah slowly nods and settles himself into bed next to Ashton.

 

When the room is in pitch darkness he whispers to Ashton “Why are you so okay with all of this?”

 

“I’m not, but Calum and Michael have too much shit to worry about already without having to worry about both Luke and I. It’s best that you leave early in the morning if you don’t want to face Michael and Calum. They wont be as calm about this as Luke was.”


End file.
